Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today , I Asked My Girlfriend What Her Favorite Quality About Me Was. Her Answer , "Your Car." FML

#1021410
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61749) - you deserved it (8130)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Family And I Ran Into An Older Man Parents Knew. He Continually Askd Me Questions Lyk Do You Play Football, Have You Startd Shaving Yet, Etc. I Thought He Was Joking. He Told Parents I Had Grown Into Quite A Young Man. I Am A Grl And He Wasn't Joking. FML

#1019315
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71242) - you deserved it (4438)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by yellow_sunflowers101 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on mah ankle. As I cross mah legs to look at mah notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (127702)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at new apartment. My fiancé was coming ome so I filled te apartment wit candle an putted on some sexy music. Wen e came up to door, I answered te door, naked. Wat I didn't know was tat e was bringing is dad to see te new apartment. mega FML

#1017067
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73386) - you deserved it (32468)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I canged te locks on ma apartment so ma crazy ex grlfriend couldn't get in. I went to er ouse to return er ouse key. I accidentally gave er te key to ma new locks, an can't find er old ouse key. Now I need er to come let me in to ma own ouse. FML

#1017007
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (53646)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I discovered that I had left mah sunroof open all night during a storm an mah front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel 4 mah seat but didn't close mah sunroof cuz it was nice out. As I pull out of mah driveway, I felt something wet hit mah forehead. A bird shit on me through mah sunroof. fat FML

#1016784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58506) - you deserved it (15986)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The frst I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and... on the way home... hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99183) - you deserved it (15077)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I Was Horsing Around After Mah Big Test. Someone Punched Me Softly On Mah Back. Figuring It Was Mah Friend, I Turned Around And Did A Roundhouse Kick. It Was Mah Girlfriend. FML

#1012847
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you deserved it (74597)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

today mah friend and I were seeing a movie!! We endd up sitting next to a manho was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat!! Extremely annoyd, we turnd to him and told him to ( shut the fuck up )!! Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying!! FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (143901)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

heathcoate's comment : You're a jerk. You say it nicely first.

See all the comments →

Today, I was driving homa from work whan I saw a cop coma up bahind ma . Narvous about mah axprad licansa, I kapt chacking in mah raar viaw mrror . In turn sinca I wasn't paying attantion, I ran a stop sign . Naadlass to say tha cop pullad ma ovar and gava ma 2 tickats .

#1010703
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9783) - you deserved it (62273)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I went shopping with my friend!! The store was having a special where if u spend over $75 u recieve a free T-shrt!! I paid 4 my items an my total was over $75!! The salesman didn't hand me a shrt so I askd him 4 one!! He looks at me an says "I'm sorry , we only have Mediums." FML

#1008885
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55362) - you deserved it (6723)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by arrogantlondon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (51802)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a panic attack so I calld mah parents. My brother answerd to say mah parent couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock an 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo an couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

#1006191
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52309) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by happyharriet (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: