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Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

#5767098
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (3743)

On 10/10/2009 at 10:59pm - money - by MadSon - United States (Minnesota)

Tungmup's comment : Kill him. Sell organs. Profit.

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Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

#5764838
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (35689)

On 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm - work - by SadisticSatire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

#5764278
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33120) - you deserved it (8101)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8185) - you deserved it (41968)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

#5762164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (19852)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

#5761778
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (5402)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:53pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML

#5761626
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10003) - you deserved it (40936)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (55879)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend and I drove three hours to attend a U2 concert. We had been psyched about the tickets for weeks because they were awesome seats (my early Christmas present). After a long drive, we get to the venue and I realize in horror that I left tickets at home, on my desk, three hours away. FML

#5759678
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (46658)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by sostupid - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (17123)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (5454)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39038) - you deserved it (2860)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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