World

Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML

By willkftw - / Saturday 3 November 2018 23:30 / Australia - Blackburn
World
By Deciduous - / Sunday 28 October 2018 22:00 / Australia - Gungahlin
World

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 steps to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

By rachgirl6 - / Monday 22 October 2018 23:00 / Australia
World

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

By Fuckkkk - / Saturday 20 October 2018 14:00 / Australia - Port Melbourne
World
By ClumsyDumbsy - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Australia
World
By Aussie girl - / Tuesday 9 October 2018 15:30 / Australia
World

Today, I found out that a supervisor at work was rude to two brides, resulting in 30k being refunded. Instead of her losing her job, I now have to take over weddings on top of my already full workload. FML

By Salesadmin - / Friday 28 September 2018 20:00 / Australia - Brisbane
World

Today, I only discovered that a wasp was caught in the crotch of my undies when I put them on. It didn't like being teabagged very much and in retaliation stung the nearest target, my nuts. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 16:00 / Australia
World
By Karls - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 09:30 / Australia
World

Today, I tried to repay a friend's kindness by taking her visiting brother out for lunch while she was at work. He must have misread my friendliness, as he ended up following me home. I had to call the cops. FML

By stopfollowingmemeansstopfollowingme - / Saturday 8 September 2018 04:30 / Australia - Matraville
World
By housemate from hell - / Tuesday 4 September 2018 21:30 / Australia
World
By Baddrunk - / Tuesday 4 September 2018 09:30 / Australia - Brisbane
World
By uh, ask your dad... - / Friday 31 August 2018 12:30 / Australia
World

Today, I learned that my mum makes it a habit to listen at the door whenever I'm on the toilet to make sure my "bowels are in tip-top shape". FML

By why is there no 'family' category? - / Thursday 30 August 2018 16:00 / Australia
World

Today, I really realised how bad my anxiety had gotten when we got our corporate photos done for work. My smile was shaking so much the guy couldn't take my photo. FML

By Shaky - / Thursday 30 August 2018 09:30 / Australia - The Gap
World
By cozzza - / Wednesday 29 August 2018 19:00 / Australia - Perth
World
By Anonymous - / Thursday 23 August 2018 14:00 / Australia - The Gap
World

Today, one month before my wedding, the venue I booked two years ago increased their standard inclusions and decreased their pricing by 25%. Guess who doesn’t qualify for this new deal. FML

By Bridezilla - / Friday 27 July 2018 03:00 / Australia - Gymea
World
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 25 July 2018 03:00 / Australia - Melbourne
World

Today, I thought I was finally connecting with my new kitten when she was looking at me closely and letting me pet her. The moment was quickly ruined by her sinking a claw into my eyeball. FML

By FailedCatMum - / Wednesday 11 July 2018 23:00 / Australia - Drummoyne
World

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

By XanderFierce - / Friday 29 June 2018 09:30 / Australia - Camperdown
World

Today, I discovered that my ex is still my emergency contact at work. I found this out when I fainted and my work called her. She told them to "pull the plug". FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 19:30 / Australia
World
By Sleepmonster - / Friday 11 May 2018 03:00 / Australia - Saint Kilda
World

Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

By lolbahadur - / Friday 16 March 2018 14:00 / Australia
World

Today, my crush asked to speak with me in private. He took me to a secluded area and asked if my best friend was interested in him. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 8 March 2018 19:30 / Australia
World
By HungryBird - / Sunday 4 March 2018 01:00 / Australia - Peakhurst
World
By Wtf - / Tuesday 13 February 2018 03:56 / Australia - Peakhurst
World
By BonusForDaddyIssues - / Monday 29 January 2018 00:00 / Australia - Brisbane
World

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he started to really get into it and get rough. He tore my labia and I now need stitches. FML

By Becca - / Tuesday 9 January 2018 13:30 / Australia
World

Today, at work, a mosquito landed on my brand new tattoo. Without thinking, I slapped it. Hard. FML

By ouchy - / Wednesday 29 November 2017 19:30 / Australia

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

# Nickname Bites
1 whatshername?! 71
2 im365sostressed 7
3 CaseyR 4
4 Mestinyalicea 0
5 shlayshlay 0
6 DJDembow2009 0
7 ccinok 0
8 uhoh 0
9 2shack 0
10 Sealey_fml 0

vampire

# Nickname Bites
1 newbiemalestr8 1465
2 BadAtPuns 1107
3 Ashamed_Sister 364
4 abigiggles 220
5 hellsingthecreator93 183
6 Dave_Davington 134
7 EclipticaLibra 117
8 Vaella 81
9 Callyn 45
10 xsandra 45

werewolf

# Nickname Bites
1 Taurus_ChicKa 50
2 thisisbutaname 23
3 RebeccaMcQ 0
4 kortnie 0
5 ahmad450 0
6 mightyboy 0
7 captinfail 0
8 Danipai 0
9 xx_riottttt 0
10 dancinfool524 0
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