11charly

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About 11charly

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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11charly's favorite FMLs

By matt5th35hit - 09/05/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 219

You deserved it 4 596

matt5th35hit tells us more.

matt5th35hit 7

Sunday 10 May 2009 9:48

And by the way... This was not a FAKE experience. It scared the living shit out of me. I admit...I didn't know anything about the ocean or rip "CURRENTS" but now I do. Thank's for the knowledge guys, I've lived at the beach for 4 years and never swam in the ocean because I didn't like swimming in the ocean. Now u see why. There were NO lifeguards...This was at CAROLINA BEACH!! Just outside of Wilmington NC. If you know me, yup..I'm a dumbass for this. It's funny you say that. The water WAS murky and choppy. It ran along side a big ass pile of rocks that stretched out into the ocean. I didn't want to hit the rocks though for fear of injury. Fighting the rip current was a dumbass idea. After I ran out of energy trying to swim I just gave up and floated on my back and the waves helped push me back to shore. I really didn't give a shit about people seeing my dick. Im a sexy beast. haha

Bigmouth strikes again

By Failoffel - 10/05/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers to come to the register was a dwarf. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 723

You deserved it 52 757

By airport - 10/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year-old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 875

You deserved it 9 233

By Hallllo - 11/05/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 369

You deserved it 9 111

Parasocial

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burglarized. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 249

You deserved it 61 700

Smooth

By nothing - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 797

You deserved it 57 014

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 087

You deserved it 59 372

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 026

You deserved it 11 589

By dearme - 02/06/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 121

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 011

You deserved it 252 166

Forget it

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said, "I love you." I flipped out saying, "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you too!" He responded with, "What?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 214

You deserved it 17 594

Coming through

By hellogoodbye - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 104

You deserved it 12 725

Freaked

By paranoid - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 845

You deserved it 55 501

By mcullen21 - 12/06/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 557

You deserved it 11 730

Yummy

By kjmsit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 333

You deserved it 23 918

By Tom - 26/06/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 903

You deserved it 6 903

Brain worms

By slightlyslow - 02/07/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year-old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 607

You deserved it 52 909

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 161

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 9 051

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 364

You deserved it 12 715