Miss 33 years-old Single
Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML
Today, my mother decided that I'm a complete sociopath and that I don’t care that my grandmother just died. Why? Because I haven’t lost my appetite. My grief response is to eat. FML
Today, my Asian girlfriend broke up with me because I'm not Asian, I'm Irish-American, 100%. She doesn't have a problem with me, though. It's her kids. Her grown children want her dating Asian men. She's 62, I'm 63. Is that like reverse racism when the kids are more racist than the parents? FML
Today, my entire family was diagnosed with COVID. My son's school decided I was well enough to homeschool him on Zoom all day. My head feels like it’s going to explode and all I want to do is sleep. Did I mention my ADHD son has no symptoms? FML
Today, I was finally diagnosed with insomnia. The trouble is, because of my physical disability, I also have diagnosed chronic fatigue. Barely can stay awake during the day, can't sleep at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his best friend. Who just so happened to be the guy who made my high school years a living hell. FML
Today, I found out my parents paid my "best friend" to be my friend for the past 7 years. She's my only friend too. FML
Today, I went to go to an aerobics class. Shen the instructor walked in, she went up to me and told me it was a women only class. I am a woman. FML
Today, I ran into a childhood friend for the first time in years. It turned out her mother died of COVID a few days ago. It was heartbreaking to see her close to tears all the time we talked, but due to distancing I couldn't even hug her to make her feel better. FML
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who lives 6 hours away from me. Her car was missing from her driveway, but she's unemployed and barely leaves the house. Turns out, she moved in with her new boyfriend and didn't tell anyone, so I had to drive 6 hours back. FML
Today, one of my friends got upset with me because I’m leaving our high school. The high school I have been bullied at for the past 3 years. FML
Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML
Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend at his job. When I saw he wasn't there, I asked a co-worker, who told me his "sister" came by earlier. He's an only child. FML
Today, I got raise at work. It's $3 per month. FML
Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "Days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé’s family’s house for dinner. They put pork and/or alcohol in EVERY. SINGLE. DISH. Including putting bacon grease in the desserts. They know I’m Muslim and his mom insisted I was being rude for only drinking water. We ended up leaving with me in tears. FML
Today, at my grandmother's funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML
Today, I got bitched at by an old lady in Walmart for not wearing a mask. I had lowered my mask to use my inhaler, because I was having an asthma attack. FML
Today, I found out, after having my third and last child, that I'm balding. I'm only 23 and quite frankly It's very much noticeable. How did I find out? My four-year-old daughter pointed it out to me, saying, "Mommy, why you shed like the dog?" FML
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML
Today, yet again. my boyfriend told me I'm getting fat, even after I told him to stop and that it's affecting my mental health. I had an eating disorder previously, and now I'm thinking about going back to just eating an apple a day. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML
Today, I learned that my brother has been secretly married to his girlfriend for over a year. That means that during Christmas break, when I told him that she was a "toxic bitch" and that he should leave her before she drags him down with her, they had already been married for 6 months. FML
Today, it's been a week since my boyfriend has touched me or even paid attention to me, because I refuse to buy him a car. I do everything for him and he owes me $3,000 already, but when I cried about using my savings on him, he said, "That’s not my problem.” FML
Today, I learnt my boyfriend has just been using me for character development for the last 5 years. FML
Today, I found out my cat had died overnight at the vet's. She died alone in the dark, in a cage. Meanwhile, Donald Trump, an old, narcissistic, overweight sack of shit, survived COVID with millions of tax payer dollars in healthcare. I'd rather my cat had been the one to live; at least she made life nicer. FML
Today, I'm working retail where masks are mandatory. A gentleman comes in with his mask below his chin. I politely say, "Hey dude, if you’re gonna shop here I'm going to need you to keep that mask on properly", to which he replies, "Fuck you, you stupid little bitch." FML
Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML
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