Miss Milton Keynes, UK 30 years-old Single
Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML
Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML
Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML
Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML
Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML
Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
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