metalmasher

Not specified

0
Followed

0
Followers

6
Badges

4
Comments

602
Visits

399
Favorites

Not specified
Not specified
In a relationship

About Metalmasher

Not specified

Metalmasher - Followers

Metalmasher - Followed

Metalmasher's page visits

lovers5201

Hugged!

Metalmasher's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Metalmasher's favorite FMLs

By Someone - 22/02/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 335

You deserved it 9 306

By IhateThem - 14/05/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 079

You deserved it 4 714

By DMitch - 15/05/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 14 464

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 044

You deserved it 67 275

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 557

You deserved it 10 695

Useful idiot

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 096

You deserved it 4 539

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 186

You deserved it 8 718

By yobruh - 17/05/2011 04:54

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 978

You deserved it 11 266

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 845

You deserved it 28 412

CPS

By Bad Parent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 816

You deserved it 4 575

By dumbteacher - 23/05/2011 14:35

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 573

You deserved it 3 191

Bruh…

By ... - 06/06/2011 07:44 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 807

You deserved it 6 724

By llord - 24/08/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my engagement ring was actually my husband's ex-fiancée's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 710

You deserved it 3 968

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 342

You deserved it 5 943

By shitty day - 30/11/2011 10:53 - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 212

You deserved it 2 435

By no low five - 30/11/2011 11:17 - United States

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 920

You deserved it 6 069

By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 615

You deserved it 3 954

By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 782

You deserved it 3 637

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year-old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 5 247

Angry little kid

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 975

You deserved it 3 557