Emmyx39

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About Emmyx39

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Emmyx39 - Followers

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Emmyx39's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Emmyx39's favorite FMLs

By wow - 11/07/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 064

You deserved it 5 162

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 033

You deserved it 8 367

Never forget

By mariokarter - 28/08/2009 04:41 - United Kingdom

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mario Kart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!" Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 675

You deserved it 7 014

Breaking news

By helenablitz - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 469

You deserved it 5 184

By Phazzer - 16/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I went outside to enjoy the cool air without my glasses. I saw my neighbor doing the same, so I waved and said hi. When she didn't respond, I yelled and went back inside. It was only later when I went back out with my glasses on that I realized I was being ignored by a Halloween decoration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 33 750

By Araya - 17/11/2009 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 299

You deserved it 38 983

Terminating

By Tee - 11/12/2009 09:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 4 634

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 578

You deserved it 35 790

By Snowin2007 - 09/01/2010 08:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 244

You deserved it 7 547

By Parental - 22/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 008

You deserved it 5 665

Auntie Flow

By iluvjenknee - 22/01/2010 06:26 - United States

Today, at work, I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I usually try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say, "Have a nice night." What I actually said was, "Have a nice flow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 708

You deserved it 33 734

By Samson - 14/02/2010 08:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 3 742

By gibsonSG323 - 14/06/2010 23:13 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 28 566

Many such cases

By clitorasaurus - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 819

You deserved it 33 197

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 100

You deserved it 89 685

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 3 648

Inspired

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 636

You deserved it 22 381

By moxy - 24/01/2011 15:00

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 65 853

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 5 341