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SuperPizzaMan_fml

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The Top

The Top

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 3 837

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 707

You deserved it 7 892

Today, my boyfriend was blowing his nose when out of nowhere he started laughing and said, “hey, my nose is exactly like you in bed, I have to finish if off with my finger to get the job done.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 302

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 058

You deserved it 5 910

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 982

You deserved it 6 282

Today, as I was talking to my hubs about replacing a tire on my car, said tire blew. I don't have a spare, and I don't get paid till tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 146