Health: Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3...

By OCDrunk - 23/11/2011 06:40 - Australia

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 026

You deserved it 9 923

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 640

You deserved it 34 466

Tipsy

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 560

You deserved it 4 284

It's all my fault

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 053

You deserved it 39 443

By Anonymous - 18/05/2017 20:00

Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 768

You deserved it 734

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 4 236

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 822

By Bad Dancer - 05/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 044

You deserved it 3 534

Jack-in-the-box

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 248

Pissed

By whoops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 2 529

What am I like?

By Joe - 01/11/2009 16:35 - United States

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 812

You deserved it 50 889

breadfruit 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 12:03

You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!

evaki1 12

Wednesday 23 November 2011 12:00

If you have boring thoughts it's not.

Comments

kittykat1792 0

Monday 25 June 2012 19:39

that happens to me when I do cocaine! lol

Redundant_Idiot 7

Thursday 6 February 2014 2:56

One more reason to get DRUNK!

magnetic_aura 26

Saturday 13 September 2014 10:13

Love your username!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 3 132

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 155

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 333

You deserved it 3 900

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 4 409

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 881

You deserved it 5 421

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 726

You deserved it 3 186