AkaiKitsune
Today, the cops pulled over and tried to arrest my friends for transportation of a corpse and murder. Just because you find a body in the back of a truck bed, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and apparently unresponsive, does not mean they are dead. I was very much alive, thank you very much. FML
Top comments
Danne696 14
From the sound of it, you shouldn't fault the cops for pulling your friend over. I mean, an unresponsive person wrapped in a blanket cocoon in the back of a truck would give off some warning signals to most people. Even if they're not dead, there has to be a reason for them to be in that state and then it's better to find out the reason when a serious crime could've been comitted.
C8H18 33
Okay, we need the full story on this one.
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Comments (35)
InnocenceBlue 38
Was alive? So you're dead now? Man that cop predicted the future.
chessu 21
Wait what?
dabomsht123 3
What kind of freaky shit r u into!?? WTF
yourmomwarnedu 14
how drunk were you?!?!
thatslifeiguess7 16
Isn't it illegal to be in the back of a truck in the first place
trucker2 33
Too funny- just remember double jeopardy....
RosesThorn17 7
Ok, I'm going with YDI on this one because I seriously question just what the **** you and your friends were actually up to. You could very easily of frightened people, and since this way of "disposing" of a body is far more common than you'd think, police have to be certain. So, moral of the story - don't do this sort of crazy shit.
Tsukiyomi 16
Why or how
AkaiKitsune 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Now for the full story, since FML has such limited space. Me and my friends went way the **** up to the middle of nowhere with the horses and trailer. The truck only seats four people but there was five of us. Since buddy 1 was contributing the truck and #2 the trailer. #3 brought food/gas and #4 brought supplies a spare horse for transportation of all our shit. Then there was me. Too broke to contribute anything but my twisted sense of humour and my own horse. On the way back I offered to ride in the truck bed because the horse trailer doesn't have much room with the horses and I don't fancy getting kicked again this week. I usually work anywhere from 16-20hrs a day (different jobs not all the same place but two of them are literally the exact same job and our across the street from each other so travel time is much reduced. I hate this city) so I'm usually operating under sleep deprivation which is why I took a vacation. At least I have developed the ability to sleep practically on command anywhere. So I conked out wrapped in blankets because it's pretty damn cold at dawn when there's no heating system available. Big surprise after hours of horseback riding and camping, open air and nobody to hold a conversation with to keep awake. I fell asleep (upright for the record. Though it doesn't surprise me that my position changed. Hell, if they had taken a turn or hit a bump big enough to make me wobble I probably would have fallen over and not even noticed. So they get pulled over. Cops check the back and see me in my little blanket cocoon. Instead of checking a pulse or ya know shaking the person to see if their just sleeping. That neck of the woods it really isn't that uncommon for someone to haul their drunken buddy home in the back of a truck as it's easier to clean body fluids out of a truck bed then fabric or leather... It also doesn't stink up the truck not do you have to put nearly as much effort into hauling the body into position. Hell, some people even have mattresses in the truck bed for just such occasions. The cops know this. They've talked to the guy who sells moonshine out of his freaking cabin out there numerous times. It's some sideroad in the middle of nowhere. Where else would people be coming back from drunk in that area if not from the only place for literally hours drive that sells alcohol (50-something % very good stuff for moonshine). It's an open secret. Believe me I am not the only person who has been passed out in the back of a truck there. (I'm probably one of the few who were stone cold sober though) They could have checked a pulse. They could have shaken me (I usually make noise when shaken I just don't wake up.) they cold have realized that the cold dead body is actually quite warm if they had simply touched the skin. That area, you're looking at least 2-3hrs to the closest civilization. If it wasn't for mr. Moonshine and drunken teenagers over there all the time they probably wouldn't even bother unless they got called out for some reason. Legally they are allowed and encouraged to poke the person if they believe that person needs medical attention or to check for a pulse. They can't /confirm/ a dead body unless they have a medical professional call it (ie coroner/paramedic/etc.) but they are allowed to check the basic is this person breathing? Do they have a pulse? Are they bleeding? (Dead bodies don't bleed, they might seep or leak because of open wounds and gravity but they don't bleed because you need a heartbeat for that.) or here's an idea. Question the guys you supposedly caught red handed instead of immediately cuffing them. All it takes is a simple 'what are you doing with a corpse?' To which you'd probably get confusion and a 'that's not a corpse she's just a really really deep sleeper.' Which is either the worst lie ever heard by a cop, or easily verifiable by checking for a pulse. The only reason it took so long is because of how far from anywhere we were. Otherwise it would have been solved in the few minutes it takes to call an ambulance and them to poke around and discover a pulse. At least ask the guys you're arresting what the hell they're doing transporting a body. But nooo it's just a human shaped lump wrapped up in some nice thick blanketsright near the tailgate (not ya know shoved behind or under the camping gear where a body might be less noticeable if they were really transporting corpses around.) but let's not check for a pulse or injuries or try to even see if they are in anyway responsive. Let's just arrest everyone. Hell, for all they knew I could have been out riding (note the giant horse trailer) fallen off or got otherwise injured and shoved in the back so I wouldn't be moved as much as I was transported to a hospital (cell phones don't really work so well over there and our SAT phone was jammed in one of the tack boxes. I think they just got a little excited about possibly there being a real crime instead of the usual chasing after drunk teens or banging on Mr. Moonshine's door to tell him that the townies are upset about they're children's lack of self control and poor decisions.
inappropes 31
Holy **** publish a book!
xxcmb3k3xx 21
you could have made this extremely shorter and saved your cop hating for the end.
HappyItalian 38
That was quite the long paragraph for a short answer
NisaSayshi 24
JFC Get to the point.
pro_panda_ganda 10
No offense, but that 'twisted sense of humour' is all in your head..And if you tell jokes the way you explain a story - may God have mercy on your soul.
jbuckets_404 39
TL;DR: lol!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, that was one hell of a story. You must have been dead (pardon the pun) to the world. But, depending on your state, it is illegal to ride in a truck bed. But still, they should have at least checked first.