By tessie94 - 06/09/2015 18:33 - Austria - Vienna
tessie94 tells us more.
Hello everyone, OP here. So it seems I should clarify a few things over here, don't want you guys worrying over something not that important :D first of all, we were both surprised our FML was published since we are both avid FML readers and have often joked that we should share some situations with you. This time, again and then I decided to actually share it and - hey presto :D then came the backlash. I forgot I was on the internet- I'm not an avid social media user so I'm not used to it. For everyone speculating: yes, the Sherlocks among you have correctly deducted that I am indeed 21 and my boyfriend is 22. We have been going out for almost 3 years now and are very happy together. We even have talked about having children together in lighter moments but on the evening I posted it my darling man was not very relaxed and I was amused by the cliché behaviour of him freaking out and me being overly attached. He did pretend to die violently every time I wanted to talk about it to the point that we were both just in tears laughing. But no worry, we both are NOT having children anytime soon. I was talking about the future, 7-10, maybe even 15 years. I want to be a late mum because as you guys probably haven't guessed I am a trained nanny and child minder and therefore know full well how tiring and difficult children can be, even though I love them dearly. And so does my boyfriend by the way. He is the most wonderful uncle to two tiny kiddos we both love more than anything, which is why I thought he was ok with talking and dreaming about our child-filled future. Obviously not. Boys will be boys but that is fine as well of course. Lastly, I want to apologise to anyone who might or might not feel offended by me joking about seizures, in no way was I reflecting it and realising what that could mean. I am sorry. And as a side note- Tessie is my dog. Cheerio and thanks for reading and worrying about unwanted children set into this world (of which there are far too many) love from a loving Austrian/British Nanny and veterinary student :)
Add a comment - Reply to : #
#62, my guess would be that she was born in 1994, as 94 is part of OP's username, and usually something people do to resemble the year they were born, so she might be 21 years old. In my opinion, still too young. If I were her boyfriend, I'd reacted similarly if the subject was brought up out of the blue.
#30 this did happen. A Canadian man was jailed on sexual assault charges when he confessed to his girlfriend that he had been poking holes in her condoms in an "attempt to save the relationship by getting her pregnant." He was found not guilty at his first trial in 2009, then came up on appeal 2 more times once in 2011 and again in 2013 where he was found guilty and sentenced to 18 months in jail.
Her user name indicates she was likely born in 1994 which makes her 20 or 21 at present. Definitely not old enough to have a bachelors unless she's a genius. Logic also dictates she might not have been with her boyfriend very young because she's so young. While I know accidental pregnancies happen, I get the vibe that if she can help it, OP is too young to tackle motherhood and her boyfriend was likely expressing that. Can't say I blame the guy if my presumptions are accurate.
You don't have to be a genius to get your bachelors by 21 that's pretty much the age you expect to get it as long as you start college right out of high school. She also could have been with her boyfriend for her entire time while in college which would give her four years of being with that guy. I agree that 20/21 is young to be a mom, but you don't know she wanted kids right this minute. If you are in a serious relationship and with someone for a while, the conversation usually comes up on whether both of them want kids.
#35 You know some people learn something practical at the age of 15 which means OP could have a stable job and a flat. And if her bf did the same they would have two incomes and therefore can afford a baby. And you also don't know if she became a couple with him at 16 or something. 4 years in a relationship is for some people perfectly long enough to get children.
I agree, two huge questions that should be asked in the first few months should be "are you looking for a serious relationship?" And if that is a yes, then "do you want kids?" I've seen long term relationships ruined because these questions weren't asked. Spending 5 years with someone only to find out they don't want what you want, is a long time to "waste" especially as a woman when child bearing years aren't infinite.
Those questions should not always be asked right away. Here's what my answer would be. Q: "Are you looking for a serious relationship?" A: "Maybe, just maybe not with you. I will have to know you for more than a few months to figure that out." Probably not the answer someone asking that question wants to hear. Q: "Do you want kids?" A: (see answer to question 1) Edit: If on the other hand you do not know the answer to those questions 5 years in something is definitely wrong./
My partner and I are both 94s, we've been together since high school and expecting our first. We both have good jobs, he makes $1500 a week and I make $700 a week while studying. We're renting a house while we're building one of our own and paying off the car :) Kids right now wasn't the plan but we're making the most of it. I'm not saying that this is the situation for them. I'm just saying it is possible to have a stable life at 20-21. My mum was married with 2 kids by 21, My grandmother was married and had my dad at 21 and it wasn't that long ago that. people were getting married and starting families at 16 (still happens in a lot of cultures)
In all seriousness, a lot of males are a bit wary of the thought of having children; not just "alpha males". However, if it is something that you truly want, there is absolutely no natural objection to procreation and enjoying a loving family to look forward to. I feel you should try talking about it with your boyfriend again, hopefully to withdraw a mature discussion about when he feels ready to bring new life of his own into the world.