Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Quinn32 16
There are worse things in his lap he could have been stroking.
Eliseopwns 22
'Murica.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
BadKitty13 28
DELIVERANCE.
Curtar2 18
in the event that your dad did kill your boyfriend he would go to jail and wouldn't be around to protect you. his logic is greatly flawed.
Kyouzou 15
They live in Texas, there's lots of places for a body to go missing.
RedPillSucks 33
Plus, once OPs bf is on the property, he can be shot and the claim would be that dad was "standing his ground" to defend his home and family.
mmaflake 19
I'm going to use this later in life
upallnight11 19
Like a boss!
thejimler 9
Texas, shotgun, underpants? Daddy's got dibs on her... if you don't want inbred children with webbed feet then run as fast as you can.
sythe511 28
Redneck Dad does not approve.
Objections 5
This is why gun laws pop up. Instead of using a shotgun for self defense or hunting, he uses it to scare the crap out of another person. Good luck, OP!
xStaciexLynnx 15
42- It doesn't say it was the first time he drove her home so actually it could be a while into the relationship and the boyfriend did something to his daughter that he's pissed about.
MollyTheCat 13
My grandfather used to do the same thing, with clothes on though. As my mother tells it, the men she used to date would ware a stopwatch just to be sure they brought her home at the exact time.
james9120 7
What's wrong with people?