Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend dumped his psycho girlfriend because she... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By not my ex - 07/05/2016 22:57 - United States

Today, my best friend dumped his psycho girlfriend because she told him we have to stop being friends. Well, he declined, and she said she'll make our lives a living hell. So far, she's tweeted about me, made multiple Facebook accounts to stalk me, and destroyed my car. All in one day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

GhostFox 33

Monday 9 May 2016 8:11

File charges, get a restraining order, and get a self defense weapon legal for your area if you don't have one already. In the meantime, be careful and keep an eye out for more escalations, especially if she isn't detained somewhere by this point.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Monday 9 May 2016 8:11

File charges, get a restraining order, and get a self defense weapon legal for your area if you don't have one already. In the meantime, be careful and keep an eye out for more escalations, especially if she isn't detained somewhere by this point.

Keywords

Love Awkward Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Cheating Health Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats Boredom Animals Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 486

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 376

The Top

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 267

You deserved it 8 109

Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 855

You deserved it 1 047

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 449

You deserved it 5 604

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 848

You deserved it 29 084

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 455

You deserved it 3 245

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 353

You deserved it 113 542