Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends... - FML

By Stinkycar - 5/6/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3545

You deserved it

503

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Out of it

Gas giant

By luvizwar - 18/9/2009 23:27 - Australia

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52213

You deserved it

7346

Tweet

Share

By Irobot - 15/3/2017 22:00

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was berated by a customer for a good two minutes. It's okay though because she ended with, "Sorry, I forget you all are real people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5341

You deserved it

305

Tweet

Share

By Nelson - 9/5/2011 15:05 - Sweden

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33837

You deserved it

3790

Tweet

Share

By leaaaa 223 - 14/7/2020 23:01

Take, is gift

Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1194

You deserved it

273

Tweet

Share

By okaythen - 4/10/2013 09:37 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

55151

You deserved it

3673

Tweet

Share

By wooed - 3/12/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36442

You deserved it

9003

Tweet

Share

By rutho - 27/3/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20861

You deserved it

208414

Tweet

Share

By madeline9322 - 20/12/2016 03:15 - Canada

Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8451

You deserved it

767

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - 8/10/2012 16:39 - United States - Alpena

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33230

You deserved it

4092

Tweet

Share

By Singapore - 6/6/2012 02:59 - United States - Shortsville

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24268

You deserved it

3557

Tweet

Share

By thatisnotcool45 - 9/12/2011 05:22 - Canada

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31008

You deserved it

2693

Tweet

Share

By lilmamma - 5/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17102

You deserved it

50194

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/5/2013 11:42 - United States

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48395

You deserved it

3482

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 14:29 - United States - Atwater

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26550

You deserved it

3021

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13155

You deserved it

36877

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/9/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26356

You deserved it

13002

Tweet

Share

By anon - 16/3/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33637

You deserved it

2563

Tweet

Share

By catdog552 - 28/2/2013 11:02 - United States

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36845

You deserved it

2579

Tweet

Share

By FMeRight? - 28/12/2016 20:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21779

You deserved it

1610

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/8/2015 17:44 - United Kingdom - Saint Leonards

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20463

You deserved it

7148

Tweet

Share

By Forgetable - 21/4/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33008

You deserved it

2983

Tweet

Share

By kjcarey123 - 15/7/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20316

You deserved it

44171

Tweet

Share

By bruised_scrotum - 15/5/2014 17:08 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54300

You deserved it

4783

Tweet

Share

By neednewshoes - 7/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2388

You deserved it

4846

Tweet

Share

By GirlOnTheFly - 27/6/2012 04:20 - United States - Uniontown

Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6877

You deserved it

33366

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 29/1/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27636

You deserved it

3860

Tweet

Share

By PeePee - 3/7/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35790

You deserved it

13278

Tweet

Share

By quitfuckingalready! - 4/9/2020 08:00 - United States

Let me go

Today, my request to move apartments was once again denied. My next door neighbor’s constant marijuana smoke wafts over every day, and the woman upstairs is pregnant with her sixth child. It’s like a herd of elephants living above me. They won’t let me out of my lease unless I pay a huge amount. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1473

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By CatLitterLover - 8/2/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33136

You deserved it

15581

Tweet

Share

By Cheap N Happy - 17/2/2012 09:44 - United States

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36584

You deserved it

4532

Tweet

Share

By redneckpunk - 16/3/2015 19:15 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31564

You deserved it

2632

Tweet

Share

By Hopeless - 4/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2410

You deserved it

250

Tweet

Share

By JulleandCici - 31/1/2009 15:03 - France

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35507

You deserved it

4914

Tweet

Share

By girlie - 4/3/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26353

You deserved it

47333

Tweet

Share

By toothpaste - 19/1/2012 12:17 - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32300

You deserved it

2302

Tweet

Share

By NeedToBeMessier - 17/10/2015 21:32 - United States - Hardwick

Today, the couple I've been housesitting for returned. Apparently, I kept the place too clean, and they don't believe that I actually stayed here. They're refusing to pay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30469

You deserved it

1625

Tweet

Share

By Laura - 22/9/2019 12:00 - Paraguay

What's my name?

Today, as they have for the past three years, my boyfriend's parents have never called me by my actual name. They always "accidentally" call me by my boyfriend's ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1693

You deserved it

105

Tweet

Share

By noname - 25/6/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52419

You deserved it

5165

Tweet

Share

By Cococautly - 4/7/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70634

You deserved it

13843

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/9/2018 14:30

Today, based on recent x-rays, I have the right knee of a 60-year-old, the left knee of a 70-year-old, and the right hip joint of a 100-year-old who's been dead for 15 years. I'm only 19 years old and my doctor says I'm gonna need two walking sticks by the time I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3320

You deserved it

150

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465379 - Sunday 4 June 2017 22:10

Please tell me it's not the same guy who pooped on your car seat a few days ago.

If it is, you need to show him Uber.

By Regulate | 21

#7465377 - Sunday 4 June 2017 22:09

Did he find anything good?

COMMENTS

By Regulate | 21

#7465377 - Sunday 4 June 2017 22:09

Did he find anything good?

Reply

Pixiewolfe | 46

#7465385 - Sunday 4 June 2017 22:24

With a large bag I'd say yes!

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465379 - Sunday 4 June 2017 22:10

Please tell me it's not the same guy who pooped on your car seat a few days ago.

If it is, you need to show him Uber.

Reply

C8H18 | 33

#7465441 - Monday 5 June 2017 0:41

OP here. No, that's not the same guy.

By SneakyDeath | 15

#7465678 - Monday 5 June 2017 17:37

It works well in the Sims, but then again, they do get the smelly status.

By pdelapuente92 | 11

#7465774 - Monday 5 June 2017 20:24

Americans

Reply

GippGapp | 6

#7465806 - Monday 5 June 2017 21:33

ikr

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7465789 - Monday 5 June 2017 20:58

One man's trash is another man's treasure.