Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
You better wake him up when he's sleep-pee next time. I'd be pissed off too. Urine your rights to do that.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Seems like urine a bit of a pickle there.
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Comments (79)
CobraLazerFace 21
Quickly, buy some tarps to cover everything in your house before you go to bed!
PipingMouse 14
But then all the pee would drip onto the floor?
klovemachine 24
It's better to have pee on the floor than on OP's laptop.
Cherryheart 22
Are you sure he wasn't just drunk?
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'm pretty sure he was not, in fact, drunk since he confessed to her that he had a problem with sleep-peeing.
Curtar2 18
can't tell if troll or just bad person.
PipingMouse 14
Having a condition doesn't make you a bad person. Or a troll. Atleast he told her the truth instead of lying.
curlstar 6
If you two aren't living together, you ought to consider not allowing him to stay at your place anymore. If you think this is really a genuine issue for him, you should suggest counseling or some other stress outlet. A lot of parasomnia disorders are due to high emotional stress.
yanksby7 6
I'm not sure why you were downvoted...this is good advice!
BellaBelle_fml 23
It is good advice. However, if they do already live together, it wouldn't seem fair to me to make him move out until after he has gone through treatment. But he should most definitely seek treatment for this in any case so that they can rest assured that this will no longer be a problem. I wonder if he has already had any treatment for this problem? If not, why? I can understand him not wanting to admit to anyone about his problem with sleep-peeing, as it is a pretty embarrassing problem. But I would rather admit it to a professional and get some sort of treatment for it as soon as possible rather than to let the embarrassment win and have something like this happen to me. Also, if the causes of sleep-peeing is anything like sleep-walking, it could be hereditary as well as stress induced. If they decide to have children together they should be aware of the signs and symptoms of sleep-peeing, and probably sleep-walking too, so that they can catch it early and get them treatment for it so that they don't have to go through this sort of situation in their future.
jatinbhanot 6
"The Universe and Human Stupidity are endless.. and I'm not sure about the former" - Albert Einstein
DocBastard 40
Or the slightly-less-invasive alternative would be to kick him out so he can pee on his own stuff in his own place.
PipingMouse 14
Make him wear some maxi-pads in his underwear. He'll learn his lesson quickly.
PipingMouse 14
Take him to Petsmart. They have a puppy training class. It would be a good investment.
buddy51 23
OP- your BF is marking his territory by randomly peeing on everything- ever wondered why urine often waking up soaked and smelling foul, while Urethra Franklin plays in the background?? Better that urine the know about your weak bladdered pee-spewer bf than damp and ignorant!!
mccrightp 29
What a pisser!