Love: Today, I was told that I sleep like a sour patch kid, sour then... - FML

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By miina_xo - 07/05/2016 14:31 - United States - Perth Amboy

Today, I was told that I sleep like a sour patch kid, sour then sweet. My husband says that when he comes to bed while I sleep, I violently fart on him then rollover and give him kisses on his back then rollover again and that its happened the past 3 nights. I thought he lied... He recorded me...FML

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Sudoc 29

Monday 9 May 2016 9:13

My fiancé barks in his sleep. Not the dry cough kind of bark. The dog kind. He doesn't believe me either.

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Sudoc 29

Monday 9 May 2016 9:13

My fiancé barks in his sleep. Not the dry cough kind of bark. The dog kind. He doesn't believe me either.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was babysitting a 6 year-old and a 9 year-old. After they went to bed, I started working on a project for on my laptop that was due in 12 hours and fell asleep. I woke up to a dog licking my peanut buttered keyboard and the two kids sitting in the corner giggling. FML

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Today, I’m 27 with no friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m socially awkward, and the idea of meeting people even in passing gives me panic attacks. I’ve been in treatment for years and no luck. All I can manage to do is work and sleep. I think it’s time to give up completely and just adopt a bunch of dogs. FML

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vote type 1 210

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

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vote type 1 5 267

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

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Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

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Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

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