Health: Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes...

By fiercehawk - United States - Scottsburg

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48407

You deserved it

3929

Favorite

fiercehawk tells us more :

Thanks to everyone who shared their personal experiences, offered their support or sympathy, or made me laugh.

Health

Messed up

Please like me

Academia ain't for everyone

By neverdatingacopagain - United States

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47853

You deserved it

6698

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3673

You deserved it

304

Favorite

By ginkobiloba

Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10128

You deserved it

1765

Favorite

By I love my furry babies

Today, I got a hamster against my wife's will. I can't wait until she wakes up and I have to tell her it's loose in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

665

You deserved it

2429

Favorite

By stop it ninja - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28480

You deserved it

4905

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1865

You deserved it

137

Favorite

By lucky?

Today, some wisenheimer hacked my Facebook account and posted that I just won the Powerball. I now currently have 284 "friend" requests and 142 tags as "family". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3813

You deserved it

294

Favorite

By Porter_Robinson - Australia - Sydney

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44320

You deserved it

9148

Favorite

By sickpuppy

Geometry

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1325

You deserved it

143

Favorite

By BadLuck - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41808

You deserved it

2733

Favorite

By DerrickUhl - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25697

You deserved it

6886

Favorite

By FreeOfCharge - Canada

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12036

You deserved it

110432

Favorite

By Ugh - United States

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52347

You deserved it

7025

Favorite

By everyoneheard - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks

71862

You deserved it

18145

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30800

You deserved it

2123

Favorite

By sunburychick - Australia

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46755

You deserved it

26054

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34204

You deserved it

3485

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28842

You deserved it

7869

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Riverview

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36780

You deserved it

5884

Favorite

By Anonymous

You snooze, you lose

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1187

You deserved it

985

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Winchester

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32192

You deserved it

3391

Favorite

By Youknowwho - Australia

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28206

You deserved it

2417

Favorite

By Lithiac - United States - Ocala

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45438

You deserved it

4797

Favorite

By PinkMonkeys

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10503

You deserved it

868

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I have a busy week scheduled at work, so I took my file home to smash out some reports. Naturally I did not do any work at home and then I also forgot to take the file back to work the next day. Instead of saving time, I wasted an hour driving home to collect it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1049

You deserved it

2044

Favorite

By Anon - United States

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10503

You deserved it

46415

Favorite

By AussieGirl - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49036

You deserved it

3990

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, after I'd remembered to start writing a list of my PTSD symptoms for my shrink, because I'm extremely forgetful, it finally took me three days to remember to write down forgetfulness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1418

You deserved it

206

Favorite

By juliearis - United States - Westport

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58669

You deserved it

10260

Favorite

By no one - 2/6/2020 14:00

Crucial information

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1643

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By sickness_sucks - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31952

You deserved it

17080

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29296

You deserved it

2278

Favorite

By NYCproblems - United States - New York

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48955

You deserved it

4864

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Mama's Boy

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6631

You deserved it

564

Favorite

By kill the audience - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10350

You deserved it

1970

Favorite

By dargas - United States

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50062

You deserved it

2683

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5884

You deserved it

72885

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

I agree, your life sucks

52804

You deserved it

4514

Favorite

By jsyn - United States - East Hampton

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48001

You deserved it

11929

Favorite

By SkinsCastSelection - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

A for effort

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38064

You deserved it

6414

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Ian7890 | 23

#5463329 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:58

Cover your mouth and apologize if necessary.

By tinman1166 | 5

#5463333 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:59

Hopefully others are aware of tthat meds effects. At least it doesn't react like Viagra.

COMMENTS

By Ian7890 | 23

#5463329 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:58

Cover your mouth and apologize if necessary.

ChenEighty | 20

#5463346 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 16:07

Or, rather, preface the effects of your medication to avoid situations like this.

lilhellian | 26

#5463412 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 17:06

And if there is no other medicine that works?

ChenEighty | 20

#5463450 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 17:40

What? I wasn't insisting that he should get different medication, I was insisting he tell the effects of said medication beforehand..

alycion | 38

#5463478 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 18:11

Most people in therapy are on meds so its a very good suggestion. I think anyone on meds would understand some of the kick you in the ass, you have no control over side effects.