Animals: Today, I was sat on the floor wearing just a big t-shirt, blowdrying... - FML

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By jesswoo - 28/04/2016 09:22 - United Kingdom - Uxbridge

Today, I was sat on the floor wearing just a big t-shirt, blowdrying my hair. I have long hair and my puppy wandered over and started trying to bite it as it flicked back and forth over my shoulder. She missed and bit me square on the nipple. Hard. I wasn't wearing a bra. FML

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vote type 1 40

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TOP COMMENTS

Shadow9876 19

Thursday 28 April 2016 23:27

Ouch! Hope you feel better. :)

jarrettd 27

Thursday 28 April 2016 20:06

That's why we have two nipples right? In case of collateral damage.

Comments

jarrettd 27

Thursday 28 April 2016 20:06

That's why we have two nipples right? In case of collateral damage.

EpicLeeGames 12

Thursday 28 April 2016 21:00

You did want a nipple piercing, right?

Shadow9876 19

Thursday 28 April 2016 23:27

Ouch! Hope you feel better. :)

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

agreeclassic 47 140

vote type 1 11 357

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

agreeclassic 27 629

vote type 1 45 455

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

agreeclassic 9 413

vote type 1 38 398

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

agreeclassic 37 659

vote type 1 4 827

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML

agreeclassic 11 991

vote type 1 24 404

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

agreeclassic 6 832

vote type 1 623