Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML
Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML
Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML
Today, I forgot to tune my guitar pre-performance. Surprising, because it was in tune when I frantically did it by ear backstage. Too bad two of the six strings snapped, smacking the drummer in the face. FML
Today, I started recording my piano exam pieces to submit, and I was proud at my interpretation that I spent time trying to make it sound good. That was until my tutor walked in and said I had "shit rhythm and ass intonation." My mom was there. FML
Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML
Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML
Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML
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Top comments
xllamax 0
well i guess he was trying to hit a 'hard' note too!
ianformean 0
A dog, in a recording studio, licking it's nuts? I heard Ozzy Ozbourne recorded Crazy Train with a lactating chimp in his recording studio. They tweaked the EQ so that it's fart can be heard just before Randy Rhoads starts his solo.
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Comments (77)
perdix 31
Don't bother, I'm not going buy your CD anyways. I don't want music that makes a dog lick its own nuts. I mean, I probably would if I could, but I am just not that flexible!
Airch 9
WTB better recording etiquette. If you let your dog into your room while recording YDI. Just shove on a high cut filter and claim it as a cool synth noise.
SupaMario_fml 0
You got your own home recording studio and still think you life sucks? End it now and give me the studio (you can take the dog with you though)
CallMeHush 1
You know why a dog licks his nuts? Because he can.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
(facepalms) Please fill out this unemployment form and get to the back of the line. NEXT!
CallMeHush 1
Sorry, I'm a slave to impulse. On the other hand, if I could do that I'd never leave the house.
perdix 31
Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his nuts. One guy says, "I wish I could do that." The other replies, "Maybe if you pet him first, he'll let you!" (Don't worry, Hush, in bad economic times, the public is so starved for comedy, even the worst of us can find work!)
CallMeHush 1
{waves a rubber chicken}
perdix 31
(pie in the face) (you squirt me with a seltzer bottle) We rake in the bucks until the economy comes back and people actually begin to care about the quality of comedy. (sad trombone)
CallMeHush 1
We might as well smash watermellons too!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Now let's see, Mr. CallMeHush. (looks over some paperwork, most of which is drawings of Trogdor and bears eating children) It seems like your paperwork is in order. We have two positions available for you: Bottle Cap Technician (you make sure the caps on the soda [pop] bottles the Boss drinks are secure and tightened when not in use) or NASA astronaut. The second option will be a waste since you have no advancement opportunities and will more than likely be lost in space, but there is an endless amount of Tang for you. So what do you think?
CallMeHush 1
I'm already lost in space so I think I'll give bottle cap tech a try... The rim goes... Down right?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
down and to the left (co-worker yells out, "That's what she said!" in the background). Welcome aboard! If you need anything at all, please file the request in the "Blow it out your ass" cabinet.
triallaw01 0
first, the Viagra would hve had to have been dissolved in the water and you would have tasted it. like most medications it probably would have tasted very nasty and you would have noticed it.
Im_Jesus_BITCH 3
I think you got the wrong FML...
DoingItWrong 0
You, sir, are out of order. I believe your client is waiting for you two courtrooms down the hall.
Sirin_fml 47
Oh christ, it's God/Didi. Get on your knees and start praying, sinners >_>
MrJentipede 2
Do all FML mod's use emoticons?
Sirin_fml 47
:O I dunno, it's a personal thing, isn't it :/ If it's annoying, just say so and I'll botox my face into a single fixed expression :D O.o o.O ~.~
isuck45 0
who cares about the dog! just make a new recording!
perdix 31
OK, so that track is ruined. Next time, get the dog to lick your nuts and you'll find it easy to hit those notes -- especially if you have a pit bull.
Carlie_McCartney 1
Strike two!
aback 5
Leave it. It adds that touch of gritty realism you're lacking.
KevinHiday 0
i thought it said "my nuts" i was wondering why no one was saying anything about it.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
seriously, thats what i thought too, i had to read it again after reading some comments because obviously someone wouldve had to say something by now. anyway OP, why dont you synth it or change the tempo or pitch or anything to make it sound like its part of the beat. and hey, at last you know you can hit those high notes?
infantry831 0
yea you suck