Intimacy: Today, I have a new appreciation for how bad it is when I ask...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By spit swapper - 09/04/2016 16:13 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I have a new appreciation for how bad it is when I ask my girlfriend to swallow. Today she sucked my dick, pretended to swallow, then tongue kissed me. Now I'm afraid to let her suck my dick ever again . FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

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Love Music Cute Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Farts

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Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 109

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 466

You deserved it 4 807

The Top

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 218

You deserved it 2 709

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 2 680

Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 148

Today, my dad is obsessed with making sure that I am not in any way 'bare' in front of the windows of our house. Which is surrounded by tall trees, five metres worth of tall trees. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out that someone might see me or that my dad is unhealthily obsessed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 481

You deserved it 1 169

Today, during a phone call, I broke down in tears because I was asked to spell my last name. It’s sixteen letters long and hyphenated, and I always end up having to spell it twice because they never get it right the first time. I’m tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 337

Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 585

You deserved it 2 387