By FMLintheanus - 27/05/2015 04:29 - United States - Crown Point

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 613
You deserved it 3 988

FMLintheanus tells us more.

FMLintheanus 12

My dog is actually a female and I got her a muzzle this morning so that when she misbehaves she can be disciplined. haha but that would be an amazing idea if my dog were a male!

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Top comments

Earths_Venus 25

So, you tell him you're going to the park, put him in the car, and then take him to the vet and have his balls cut off. He'll never see it coming.

278 4
SharnaaaBanana 22

Maybe he was simply trying to return the favour... A little too aggressively ;)

107 5

Comments

MandieL 27

Seems like a pretty decent arrangement if he's not needy and doesn't like to be pet. It's like a cat, but a dog.

3 2
BadApple88 29

The solution is simple. Build a robot hand. Or you can just train him not to bite and wear a protective cup lol

0 5
gintwinsmoore 20

except OP didn't throw his balls anywhere for the dog to retrieve.

1 2
hasooon 24

Punch him in the face. or even bite him back

2 20
MakeItStopWtf 12

It may not be the best way, but it will work. If it is biting at your nuts, you need to establish some dominance. What happens when it goes for a child?

2 9
doubleofuck 20

Perhaps you should look up canine body language so you can learn when he's showing distress before he goes to bite you

9 0
MrConcise 34

Honestly, I don't know how you can't anticipate a dog snapping at you while you're touching it. You literally feel the body tense up - less than a second to react, but most people have a quick enough reaction time.

8 0
mattrd_fml 31

LOL your user name cracks me up OP. What what in the butt.

8 1
MrConcise 34

I didn't understand OP's username either, but the second line of #25's is amazing and you shouldn't be afraid of it. What What In the Butt - Samwell, thank me later.

5 2
glabberfasted 16

Uh. I think this is worded wrong. Shouldn't it be "If I stop petting him?"

0 7
TheLadyOpal 30

Not necessarily. It's possible for even dogs to decide when they've had enough attention.

3 0
smokecloud_ 37

Yeah I'm confused by the wording too. My dog will sometimes mouth on me if I've been petting him too long or he doesn't want me to. At least he doesn't clamp down though.

0 1
limabeans101029 20

26- No, because OP has worded that bit from the point of view of the dog. It's supposed to be as if the dog is saying "if you don't stop petting me..."

1 1