This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Bill - 02/12/2018 17:19

Today, I found another dead scorpion in our kitchen. I went to scoop it up to throw it away, only it wasn't dead, just pretending. It stung me, I dropped it and it ran under the oven. My wife thinks I deserved to get stung. She doesn't believe that I wasn't playing with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44
You deserved it 5

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