This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
Today, I found another dead scorpion in our kitchen. I went to scoop it up to throw it away, only it wasn't dead, just pretending. It stung me, I dropped it and it ran under the oven. My wife thinks I deserved to get stung. She doesn't believe that I wasn't playing with it. FML