Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend for a kiss. He promptly pulled his...

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By poowife - 06/04/2016 03:28 - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend for a kiss. He promptly pulled his pants down, and farted in my face. Turns out he's caught the bug that's going around, because he also sprayed diarrhoea all over my face. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML

agreeclassic 1 932

vote type 1 409

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. Twenty minutes into the job, I was told, "Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go." Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

agreeclassic 32 475

vote type 1 2 421

Today, I had the front door open, and my cat Watson, who I often call Little Boy, was sitting in front of the screen door. I wanted to close the door so, speaking to my cat, I said, "Come here, Little Boy," at which point a young child came running up to my door. His dad yelled, "Get back here!" FML

agreeclassic 911

vote type 1 231

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML

agreeclassic 377

vote type 1 441

Today, my Amazon delivery was delayed. I just moved to a new place and that delivery had my pillow and blanket. I can't go buy them in person since I'm self-isolating and the heating isn't working either. Guess I'm sleeping in the freezing cold on the bare mattress one more night. FML

agreeclassic 1 242

vote type 1 287

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

agreeclassic 17 130

vote type 1 77 667