Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
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Top comments
bigdog57_fml 9
Why did he have the keys if you were the DD?
yoursucklives 36
should have taken the keys before letting your brother get drunk and have bad ideas.
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Comments (64)
eccentrix 12
YDI for letting a drunk person have your car keys.
white16sox 19
He could be a violent drunk. No? Back to my hole.
egc573 40
What else can you expect on Cinco de Mayo other than a drinking FML? It would have been criminal not to have included even one.
shadowPlayer 6
Why did the drunk guy have the keys. I'm ashamed for my provincial population.
wtfjess 10
Well at least he had the sense to take a cab instead of driving himself. But why is it that he had your keys in the first place when you were the designated driver?
lilpowers 3
Keep in mind that one of the symptoms of stupidness is being drunk.
cayytee 0
or one of the symptoms of being drunk is stupidness.
laden_swallow09 35
Inebriation and stupidity go hand in hand. Sometimes they're off doing their own thing, sometimes they're having fun together, and some other times one reinforces the other. It's a circular highway of destruction with few offramps.
RealReasons 0
If you were going to be the designated driver then you should've kept the keys. You also probably also should've made sure he didn't get into trouble.
KnightAngela1109 10
Hope you took advantage and got wasted!!!!!!!
GothInside 6
Why would the person drinking & not the designated driver, have the keys in the first place?? Not real smart...
Living_Fetus13 0
So have a drink
thatoneguy79 10
Rules for the Designated Driver: 1) Maintain possession of all relevant car keys at all times during performance of duties. 2) Never allow yourself to be seperated from aforementioned keys for any reason while performing duties. 3) Prevent, through any means necessary, any person in your care from operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery. 4) Ensure person or persons in your care are dropped with 1/2 mile of their intended destination. Door to door service is optional. 5) Ensure person or persons in your care provide appropriate funds for fuel, even when you are driving their vehicle. Repeat as necessary. I'm sorry OP but you failed as a DD, miserably, by allowing him to possess your keys. Having picked a fair share of drunk drivers up off the road, there is no excuse. Be very glad your brother was smart enough to utilize a taxi and not a hearse.