Today, my dad woke me up in a panic at five to ten in the morning, because he couldn't figure out how to type the "@" in an e-mail address. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 61 year-old father snatched a letter from my hands and threw four different fits because he misread it four different times, then yelled at me for "not reading it properly." I had to explain it to him. FML
Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML
Today, I spent an hour trying to log into my work email. I apparently kept typing the wrong password and eventually got locked out for 24 hours. My boss texted me five minutes later asking why I wasn’t responding to his emails. FML
Today, within 20 minutes of waking up, my dad gave me a pained look and said: "Uhh, turns out your laptop isn't waterproof." FML
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML
Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML
Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML
Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Haha, what a ******* noob! It couldn't be much easier: you disconnect your keyboard, stick two paper clips into the USB port touching the left and right data pins, attach the chain of resistors to one clip, touch the negative terminal of a double A battery to the other, and then connect the open resistor end to the positive terminal of the battery for exactly 500 milliseconds. The processor interprets that electrical pulse as a few keystrokes, and before you know it, you have three @ symbols. Then you delete the two you don't need. Hahaha, I still can't get over how ignorant your father is, OP!
thatweirdasian 22
Whoa, hopefully it was a veryyy important email.
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Comments (38)
Nyattack 14
I cannot believe Tripartita's getting thumbed down. Do people know about sarcasm ?
ApplePie1994 27
Hey, OP here. First off, the time here is wrong; It was five to ten, not ten to five. Maybe I wrote it wrong when submitting, since I was still half asleep. Maybe FML changed it for dramatic effect. More than likely the former. Five to ten is far less of a dramatic time, but a) I'm NOT a morning person. b) Ten is like 6 am in my world. I'm still glad this got accepted :) Thanks for all the comments. I don't know if FML will edit the mistake or not, but at least y'all know what's up.
farmgirl98 14
I've noticed that the FML staff do edit... They wouldn't admit it to me though when my well-worded and flawless submission was tweaked, and the resulting post was grammatically incorrect! I was so annoyed. FML? Lol! I'm sorry you were woken up for a keystroke OP. FYL.
ApplePie1994 27
It is true, I am a lazy git :P I am a major night-owl; up all night and in bed all day. Ten is VERY early for me. Thanks for the edit :P Will probably bring plenty of YDIs and call outs about my lazy ass xD
DarthDeath 12
I wish I could get up at 10am any morning. Even when I used to stay up til 4am I was up by 9am at the latest. FML Staff is correct, you're a lazy git.
Llama_Face89 34
9:55 isn't even that early. What's the problem?
nick1121 10
You'll love if you were woken up at 9:55
maximus32547 2
You ******* asshole, he taught you how to wipe your ass. And use a fork, and how to use the toilet.
melissawarren 7
Are you sure it wasn't nine in the afternoon? Anyone? No one? Ok
olillia 16
You're complaining about getting woke up at TEN in the morning...? Spoiled ass
valdania 18
wait, five to ten? you mean almost 10:00 am? that seems fine to me
da_epic_failman 7
You deserve it. It is the children's responsibility to inform our ancient ancestors, like our parents, how our futuristic technology works.
Wisernow 10
ha ha , I just read this and am amused by all the responses regarding your dad. No one mentioned that 9:55 is often a fairly late hour to sleep to. Be grateful it will likely only happen once.