Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 450 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 258 You deserved it 6 254
Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 058 You deserved it 3 931
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 562 You deserved it 40 666
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 863 You deserved it 7 544
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 417 You deserved it 4 529
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 288 You deserved it 59 695
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?