Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 455 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 796 You deserved it 5 220
Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 500 You deserved it 3 386
Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML I agree, your life sucks 761 You deserved it 240
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML I agree, your life sucks 70 883 You deserved it 7 791
Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML I agree, your life sucks 68 212 You deserved it 24 253
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 973 You deserved it 3 647
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?