Today, I learned that my decades long health issue is… ME/CFS. Am I shocked? Nope, been trying to convince the doctors that this wasn’t mental health related for decades. I also found out I’ve been living with low blood flow and oxygen to the brain due to this hell. My family still doesn’t believe any of this is real. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I have a chronic illness that has affected my brain function, heart and nervous system, and basically leaves me cognitively impaired daily and ruined my quality of life. Apparently it wasn’t just “all in my head” like so many neurologists claimed over the past two decades. FML
Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML
Today, after months of arguing with doctors and them trying to hand me off to mental health professionals, it turns out I indeed have a physical brain injury they missed. Scary, right? FML
Today, I went to the doctor with some serious physical symptoms that amount to being effectively disabled. She didn’t even ask any questions or examine me before telling me it was all purely psychological. I barely managed to convince her to at least order some blood tests, as a formality. FML
Today, I proved my doctor wrong. I've been having difficulty breathing for 3 months. When it started, she said it was anxiety. I knew that wasn't the case, but I did what she said. A few weeks later, I told her during a follow-up that I thought it might be my phrenic nerve. She laughed. The physio confirmed it today. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I learned that there is an actual medical term for having trouble making decisions of any kind. I'm not sure if I should feel understood because I know it's an actual disorder, or be angry that people still believe it's fake when I show it to them. FML
Today, I found out at a routine check-up that I may have asthma. How it went unnoticed until now, I do not know. I guess the world just needed to come up with a new way to make me miserable. FML
Today, as I continue to experience more revelations about how fucked up my mental and physical health really are, I'm starting to feel as though I was destined to not live very long. If I were to list every mental health issue or chronic condition I have, it would likely be enough for an entire Wikipedia article. FML
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