Health, Embarrassing and Accident: I'm a dumbass

I'm a dumbass

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I almost died in the shower when I slipped and my dumbass self tried to grab the water. FML

agreeclassic 2 093

vote type 1 597

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TOP COMMENTS

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chazzster 29

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

JackWood 20

Friday 27 January 2023 7:02

I want what your taking. js

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2023 7:10

I almost died from déjà vu.

Chazzster 29

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

agreeclassic 39 775

vote type 1 3 897

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

agreeclassic 27 260

vote type 1 6 929

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

agreeclassic 10 878

vote type 1 19 311

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

agreeclassic 28 514

vote type 1 7 162

Today, I spoke to a highly recommended therapist for my special-needs child. After 45 minutes of describing our challenges, heartbreaks and other very personal information, she told me that her schedule was permanently full. But she invited me to go through the phone book to find someone else. FML

agreeclassic 23 291

vote type 1 1 784

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

agreeclassic 31 478

vote type 1 2 994