Nearly FMLs

By thanks assholes - 12/04/2016 13:17 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I got a flat tire a mile from school. My phone is broken so I tried to flag down some students to ask and use their phone. No one stopped. I ended up having to knock on doors in a nearby neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By What are they then - 12/04/2016 13:16 - United States - Murray

Today, I learned that my best friend is convinced that dinosaurs never existed. She says the skeletons/fossils are of "anything other than dinosaurs," and refuses to believe otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Thelonelydino - 12/04/2016 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed when he rolled over and casually mentioned that he had lied to me when he said no to masturbating when I am not home. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't having bedroom problems which include him never wanting to have sex because "he's not feeling it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By adorkable_nerd - 12/04/2016 12:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was trying to impress the new guy at work I got all cute and dolled up it wasn't until half way through the day that then someone told me I had a huge hole in the back of my pants I wondered why people where smiling at me FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By kkcanadian - 12/04/2016 12:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I have liked for a while. Right before the movie started I reached over so we could hold hands. She grabbed mine and said with a creepy face, "So you jerk off with this hand?" I had to sit through an hour and a half movie with her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Spring - 12/04/2016 12:42 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my father told me to get my shit together and step up to the plate because I forgot to clean his dishes. He's forgetting that: I have a job, actively volunteer, play in an orchestra, and go to church. He does none of these things and sits on his ass all day at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By showerspider - 12/04/2016 12:35 - United States - Cabot

Today, while I was showering, I saw a giant spider right by my foot. I started to scream and jumped out of my shower. My sister came in, saw it and hit it with my shoe. That's when we both realized this spider was a mama spider because babies covered the shower floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By MzZombicidal - 12/04/2016 12:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a dinner date. We were having a really great time until a random server came up and said, "I'm settling a bet. Are you two related or a couple?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 1

By mh_2323 - 12/04/2016 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, we watched our short video projects in class. This class has 50+ people in it. When my group and I were filming, we kept going even if we messed up because we planned to cut it out later. We submitted the unedited version. We also said "fuck" or "shit" every time we made messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

By dragoongirl90 - 12/04/2016 11:50 - United States - Redding

Today, I am on several dating websites, hoping to find someone. All I get are a ton of guys who don't even say hello before sending dick pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 11:36 - Australia - Kallangur

Today my boyfriend of two years dumped me in public by saying 'good luck finding someone better than me.' FML.

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By taylovezadtr - 12/04/2016 10:51 - United States - Levittown

Today, i went in for an interview at a new job. I had a cast on my arm so i got why people stared. When i went in my interviewer looked horrified the entire time. As I walk out i found out one of my friends drew a giant dick on my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Noh body - 12/04/2016 10:39 - Germany - Garmisch-partenkirchen

Today, I was standing in the hallway playing around with some friends when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see that it was my crush who was way out of my league who just wanted to say hi, my first reaction was to double over at a loss of breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By 08homer - 12/04/2016 10:38 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I heard back from a Job position i had applied for to earn a bit of cash, since i am waiting for my dream job to start in 5 months time. I was rejected from this and the 2 previous minimum wage jobs , no reason was given other than "not suitable". I have a Bachelors and Masters degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Battlebarney - 12/04/2016 10:32 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, after spending over three hours in the bathroom at work, I finally came to the conclusion that yes, I do have to talk to my coworker. Even though she's bat-shit crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 09:51 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I've been off my meds for about a week while I wait for my refill to be delivered, and it's screwing with pretty much everything in my body. I can barely get out of bed or off the toilet. I'm fucked until the delivery company decides to actually give me my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By The man - 12/04/2016 09:51 - Canada - Sydney

Today my dad walked in on me masturbating to powerpuff girls. that was an awkward conversation after FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By stupidbank - 12/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, my bank "accidentally" put a hold on my account and canceled my card. The closest bank branch to me is 3 1/2 hours away and it will take up to a week before my replacement card arrives. So I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By shana_starlight - 12/04/2016 09:07 - Mauritius

Today, I had the hellish ass itching of my life. After thorough reflection I just slipped my hands near my butt and relieve myself. On turning back I saw the most cutest guy of the university giving me that "what the hell" look! FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By BBG2297 - 12/04/2016 09:00

Today I am giving a presentation on the dangers of alcohol abuse. I look horribly hungover and have been vomiting since 2am all due to a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 08:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, a friend handed me something and jokingly said "Happy Birthday". The funny thing is, it really was my birthday, and he didn't know. He was the first and only person to say "Happy Birthday" to me, and he didn't even mean it. Looks like I'm the only one having cake tonight!FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By AiRzSubzero - 12/04/2016 08:25 - United States - Gaylord

Today, I was at the hospital getting an MRI for my torn muscle on my arm. A lady came up to me and punched in my bad arm. I turned to face her and she then proceeded to slap me across the face. She then apologized and said that she thought I was her ex-husband. I'm 14. She was 50. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By howoldareyouuu - 12/04/2016 07:19 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, Someone commented on the wrinkles I'm getting on my forehead, saying that I'm too young for them. Today someone else also commented on my acne, saying I'm too old to have acne. I'm 24. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By sleepyolivia - 12/04/2016 06:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, despite the fact that an assignment was due tomorrow and the workload was large, I decided it was about time that I started putting effort into my education. With this in mind, I spent several hours of my night perfecting an assignment. I now have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 05:20 - United States - Provo

Today, I was waiting, by myself, for a church meeting to start. Some random guy in about his 50s (I'm 21) came up to me and asked me why I don't have any friends. I played it off like it was a joke, but I had to hold back tears until I could get home 2 hours later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By blackbear - 12/04/2016 05:11 - United States - New Milford

Today, I finally started to fall asleep around 1 in the morning when I heard a loud noise outside. I looked out my bedroom window to find my trash cans knocked over, garbage all over my driveway, and a fat bear running into the woods with a pizza box. This should be fun to clean in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By in pain - 12/04/2016 05:09 - United States - Mesa

Today, I was standing on a short wall while getting a ball from our roof for my young cousin, my immature brother thought it would be funny to scare me. I fell off of the wall into a cactus, his only response: you were scared though right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 05:06 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went out for a jog. In a half hour, three men made lewd comments, two honked, one grabbed his crotch and waved it at me, and one swerved his SUV almost onto the sidewalk, nearly hitting me, so he could be sure I heard him when he shouted "Nice titties!" This is sadly typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 3 767

By Breakupboy - 12/04/2016 04:57 - India - Chennai

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me for lying to her, not giving me a chance to speak. Two hours later, she has a new boyfriend, a guy she told me was her "best friend". I don't see how I'm lying here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By pfogawitz - 12/04/2016 04:46 - United States

Today, my husband's phone synced to Chrome on our computer and when I went to type, a pornstar I haven't heard of was in the suggestions. I enjoy porn too so I clicked on it. Turns out she's one of my oldest friends and judging by the search history, my husband is a big fan of her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, after I'd ordered a cute dress online for an upcoming date, I tried it on, only to realise it was more of a glorified napkin than a dress. The tag online had said “One size fits all.” I now have a dress that fits my cat better than it fits me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 170

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 13 980

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 005

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 942

You deserved it 49 409

Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 074

You deserved it 2 999

Today, my shirt caught on fire when I was burning paper for my ancestors at the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 375