Retirement

Chewed up and spat out

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 21:00

Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 92

Exploited

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 103

Cost of living crisis

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 05:00

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 154

Let him have his fun!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 00:00

Today, despite all my hard work persuading my retired husband to take up sensible hobbies, he now cosplays at comic book conventions, collects replica swords from films, goes paintballing once a month with men half his age, and watches two hours of Japanese anime every night before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 340

Management BS

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 03:00

Today, I was just rejected from a part-time job I applied for to have something to do during my retirement. They required references from at least two former employers. I only have one former employer because I worked for the same damn company from 17 to 66 years old. This some bulls**t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 123

Inflation sucks

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 16:00

Today. I've been retired for two years. At the time we were doing good, until the economy tripled the cost of living. Went back to work again and tore my shoulder. Six months recovery, during which time my manager tried to fire me, then two months before my return to work date, they changed insurance companies and left me with no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 128

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 114

Old age problems

By Xenon - 24/10/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, after I retired November 2021, broke my left leg in February 2022, was able to walk unaided around the end of July, broke my left hip in August 2022, physical therapy is now starting. Today. Happy retirement! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 118

Out of retirement

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 12:00

Today, within a year of inheriting the family business from me so I could retire, my daughter claimed she had found a way to increase profits that was "way too complicated" for me to understand. Well today, police showed up. Whatever her method was, apparently it counts as fraud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 175

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 01:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, it’s Easter Sunday. I have a countdown timer on my phone for when I can retire. I checked it : only 666 days left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 231

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The Top

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 092

You deserved it 5 828

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 210

You deserved it 24 253

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 1 785

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered, and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man came in and asked if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 220

You deserved it 91 069

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 698

You deserved it 2 952

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 3 875