Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

by Username / 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm / Work

giantsfan2010's comment : that was really inconsiderate of you.

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Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

by erpuchi / 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Health

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

by oopsididitagain / 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

by crushed / 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Dcoble's comment : What a dirty whore

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Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

by tattooed / 11/30/2010 at 10:50am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 10:23am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:07am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

by Tony / 11/30/2010 at 6:30am / Work

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

by Jack / 11/30/2010 at 3:48am / Intimacy

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 1:08am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation