napalm_uniqorn

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Melbourne, Australia
33 years-old
Thursday 26 November 1992
couple

A propos de Napalm_uniqorn

I'm addicted to fml as it makes a great read. I'm jealous of white Christmases, and snow. I have kangaroos living in my backyard and wombats in my driveway. My girlfriend is the best.

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Napalm_uniqorn's favorite FMLs

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

agreeclassic 31 928

vote type 1 3 078

By Anonymous - 14/09/2014 16:38 - Ghana - Accra

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

agreeclassic 36 655

vote type 1 20 865

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

agreeclassic 65 273

vote type 1 9 167

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

agreeclassic 40 462

vote type 1 9 421

By SirDirtyRedD - 25/01/2014 01:03 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 40

SirDirtyRedD app_comment_confession_title

SirDirtyRedD 15

Saturday 25 January 2014 20:11

i would just like to make a point that he is only six he has plenty of time to make better plans lol