autumn_fire

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Daniels, USA
44 years-old
Friday 11 December 1981
single

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Autumn_fire's favorite FMLs

Tool Academy

By soundbox - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching "Tool Academy" with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be "Tiny Tool." I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

agreeclassic 24 847

vote type 1 4 862

Revenge

By Fcuked - 23/03/2011 04:40 - New Zealand

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

agreeclassic 25 641

vote type 1 68 748

Rewarding

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

agreeclassic 79 536

vote type 1 17 531

By lolzboss - 07/03/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

agreeclassic 16 488

vote type 1 46 337

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

agreeclassic 48 383

vote type 1 5 003