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Fuckfoot's favorite FMLs

By bittersweet - 08/02/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

agreeclassic 560

vote type 1 45

By kenbez123 - 14/08/2013 07:55 - Malta - Santa Venera

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

agreeclassic 50 611

vote type 1 3 500

kenbez123 app_comment_confession_title

kenbez123 10

Wednesday 14 August 2013 23:10

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

agreeclassic 69 181

vote type 1 10 112

Model behavior

By anonymous - 15/04/2013 01:07 - United States - La Pine

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

agreeclassic 40 956

vote type 1 5 175

By faitoh - 23/05/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Lisburn

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

agreeclassic 14 715

vote type 1 117 342

faitoh app_comment_confession_title

faitoh 10

Monday 27 May 2013 23:47

Um, OP here. Scared to reply because of the abuse I've been getting but obviously I deserved it, I know that. 1. I guess I posted it as an FML because I realised how much of a dick/arsehole/****/wanker I'd been... 2. The guy wasn't cycling to the side like he should have been, he was more out to the middle. I just lost my cool to be honest, if he doesn't care about his safety by doing that, why should I bother about not making him jump? (unpopular opinion obviously...) 3. I should probably point out that this was a quiet road, I was the only car, otherwise I wouldn't have done it, which may be surprising to some of you... 4. He caught up to me because I slowed back down to normal speed after about 30 seconds. Guess he was stronger than I thought. 5. I KNOW I'm a colossal twat. But I still hate cyclists. Some of them are SO up their own arses. Having said that, I WILL NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.