The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Snooping

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 11:15 - Australia

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for Christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 596

You deserved it 76 970

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 6 162

By cAtaLanbLoOd - 24/10/2013 06:06 - France - Perpignan

Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yes, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 334

By marriedbutlonely - 15/02/2016 02:36 - United States - Federal Way

Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 032

You deserved it 3 161

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said, "What a nice young man," and he said, "It's OK, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 6 341

By crazy_mom - 01/11/2010 15:10 - United States

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 686

You deserved it 4 355

By lolatmylife - 22/08/2014 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 972

You deserved it 4 040

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 5 312

By montextes - 25/07/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 295

You deserved it 3 959

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 777

You deserved it 5 646

By my dumb bro - 17/04/2013 16:13 - United States - Gillham

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 426

You deserved it 8 764

By ziggers10 - 07/04/2013 03:19 - United States

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 071

You deserved it 9 919

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 508

You deserved it 2 809

Grateful much?

By kylie b - 25/05/2011 06:41

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it. I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 4 404

By augiedd - 05/03/2014 02:46 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 856

You deserved it 7 466

By nick - 12/05/2010 09:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 292

You deserved it 5 999

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 13 395

By MissDQ - 30/11/2013 09:07 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 363

You deserved it 5 401

MissDQ tells us more.

MissDQ 12

Sunday 1 December 2013 5:18

OP here. Someone else pointed it out to the attendant that I'd been in there for a while and since I'm 'a kid' I MUST have been trying to steal something. The attendant just quietly asked if they could check my bags and stuff the same way they do if you leave the store without buying but have bags in your hands. I'm not big, but I do have big boobs. Some clothes go on fine but when you go to take them off they won't go over them and you start to panic. I'm a fairly standard size and I do often go one size up, but this was one of those sheer tops with the singlet underneath and those suckers don't stretch and it's hard for anyone to get them off if they're lucky enough to work out where their arms are supposed to go and can get the thing on. Heck, my mum is tiny and there's been plenty of times I've had to help her pull something over her head because she's stuck. It's not normally a store I shop at but was out with my family which I haven't done in a long time as I lived away till recently and they had a great deal, so why not ? I'm not going to sue them, there's no point ? The store didn't accuse me, some asshole who can't mind their business did. To top it off, I went through the self serve checkouts and the alarm went off as I walked out and the attendant pulled all the bras I bought out of the bag in the doorway to make sure they didn't have any of those big plastic security tags on them. I did have a DVD for another store in my bag and we put it down to that.

By Ophelia - 22/11/2012 05:44 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 417

You deserved it 4 128