Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML
Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
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Top comments
MisterFML123 1
Hmmm. Gotta be a little awkward
LolOrDeath 4
And your parents always thought you would have an accident before them
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Comments (110)
jsick7x 2
Ahhh
MisterFML123 1
Hmmm. Gotta be a little awkward
hutch66 13
Family dinners... Gotta love them!
SenselessPattern 12
Yes, normally it's dinner with the In-laws or girlfriend/boyfriend's parets that are the source of FML's and/or apocalypse. Nice change of pace...
BunchieRules 31
10 - Ah, yes. In-laws make the best FMLs, aside from the occasional hobos and insane coworkers.
domking1315 20
Soooo. How it go? Did you have fun?:)
DocBastard 40
Pierre - Don't do that. If your profile info is accurate, I predict you'll last about a day here before some kind mod banishes you to the depths of Hell.
ryry013 6
"Hold on, I'll be right back I'm going to take a pregnancy test in the middle of dinner. Everyone, please keep eating"
sens3sfailing 25
Condom guys, the HOLE situation sounds pretty HARD.
Harpy20 24
76- ...and you seem to be a tard? Your name suits you.
JocelynKaulitz 28
I'm guessing the dad is extremely filled with joy since he's getting blamed for "purposely" getting her pregnant?
sens3sfailing 25
You're an impudent, self relishing idiot aren't you? I'm not a tard, I made a bad joke. So what? Also the name is from a band called senses fail who got their name from becoming more in tone with the world in Buddhist beliefs to the point where eventually your 'senses fail'. Keep trying to show off your ugly body to attract guys attention from the annoying word vomit that comes out of your insolent little brain. It's apparently the only thing you have going for you.
supbabes 0
Damn lol
hellachillin 8
They were obviously scared of having another one like OP. what have you done to your parents OP?!
ASD_K 11
Nice try for first comment.
bones_17 5
Its best you don't steal his condoms!!
onlychildFTW 34
I think OPs parents are a bit strange. But I feel for OP. now you know to turn down invitations for dinner at least. Or maybe bring condoms instead of wine! Haha
bigballer_89 4
dammn
botanistjessica 24
I believe it's one M.
Commander223 9
If you look at his profile, it explains how retarded he is.
_Oblivion_ 12
Don't **** with him guys. Tough guy with a name of big baller
nikamarie 6
You guys ever think he might have wanted to spell it like that? You all dont have to go all grammar nazi on everyone 24-7 because seriously no one gives a rats ass that much
ImmaB3AST 7
Don't* A rat's ass* No one really gives a rat's ass that much. (Fragment consider revising)
Slender_Man 6
71- that's a grammar nazi's job.
lonestarfox 0
No one gives a rats ass about your opinion either
onlychildFTW 34
#6 reminds me of this kid from school that no one liked. Including younger grades, older grades, my grade and teachers. No one at all liked him.
LolOrDeath 4
And your parents always thought you would have an accident before them
David199619 8
Your mom is crazy haha
flutter4 7
Apparently it's the hormones that are crazy
Kiki242 19
Well did he?
Harpy20 24
I'm sure it's a question he'll never ask. We can assume that he did?
emilyjgraham 34
he'll never answer/she'll never ask* which one?
Lillias_fml 19
At least she didn't blame you..
lostinlabels 8
Well did she?8
BandWagonGuy 8
Hmm, well lostinlabels. If she were accused it probably would have been included in the post.
john443 5
Reminds me of that movie, where the nerd father drips water in his wife's condom to see if she poked holes in it, and she did. Gosh, I can't remember the name of that movie though!
SeedlessMe 13
Parenthood!! One of the best 80's movies out there! ;)
john443 5
Thank you!! I can't believe I forgot what it was called. It was a great movie lol
gracehi 33
It wasn't a condom. It was a diaphragm. One of my favorite movies! "Well I thought someone around here should be having sex with something that doesn't require batteries!"