Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
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Top comments
Aquaman911 18
She should respect your decision, men don't want to have sex all the time with anyone!
CanyonRose 16
Fyl but your mom is a savior in the weirdest way. Unless you are gay then your mom is still savior.
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Comments (110)
bigmike25 11
Decisions decisions xD
Liyuesigs 8
Especially hard when mom is around.
junkman6 22
I can't tell if that was a failed attempt at incest humor, which is an auto fail anyway. Or extremely poor word choice.
badluckbayan 16
That pun was excellent
coming back in the future 30
Are you Gay?
coming back in the future 30
But are you actually gay?
incoherentrmblr 22
Doesn't matter, declined sex...
LocsOn 13
the cougars are on the prowl
Aquaman911 18
She should respect your decision, men don't want to have sex all the time with anyone!
stevothedevo 25
Yea I know right!! Just 99% of the time.. Geez. Sarcasm..
stevothedevo 25
I thumbed myself down for my last comment. It's actually a myth that all guys will **** any girl that makes an advance... We're not all *****.
Zebediabolical 45
You misspelled 'Awesome' as '*****'!
stevothedevo 25
You misspelled 'STD ridden' as 'Awesome'
zBLAKEz 23
It is rather bothersome that people are so intent on encouraging everybody to have as much sex as they possibly can and not worry about judgments from society, but nobody cares about encouraging people to use protection. If you're going to advertise for sluttiness then great, do that. But you should also be advocating for use of condoms anytime you do that. If you care about telling people to bone as much as possible but don't care about telling them to be safe about it then you're basically just screaming "Go get as many STDs as you can!"
junkman6 22
Life is short "****, drink, and be merry."
AddictGamer 16
Y'all motherf*ckers need Jesus.
trex454 21
I can't stevothedevo serious when his picture is a selfie of him winking at the camera
razzledazzle21 23
If they don't know to be safe when having sex they shouldn't be having sex.
stevothedevo 25
I don't think anyone can take you, a man, serious with sponge bob square pants as your pic.. Lmao
8born8 18
And patrick.. Why don't people include patrick? He's only spongebobs' best friend.
mister_icicle 17
"**** all you want" is a valid way to go. It's a privilege of the responsible, and a trap for the reckless. They should legalize crack too....if you're dumb enough to smoke it, it'll take you out of the gene pool.
CanyonRose 16
Fyl but your mom is a savior in the weirdest way. Unless you are gay then your mom is still savior.
tonyfan00 38
Sometimes, any outlet that works is one you just gotta take.
LittleRed79 39
Yeah 32, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what that woman was hoping for.
sonshadsil94 15
No I think that was OP's problem in the first place.
giantsfan2010 23
That had to be awkward in front of your parents
sarah5745 41
Oh shit, really??
giantsfan2010 23
Yep, who would have guessed?
stupidface15 16
sounds like a very GAY situation! hahaha
chadermcchaf 16
I still can't believe people use gay to describe bad things. :-/
ahippienamedrae 10
Gay=happy, so I disagree.
vixypixys 13
You'd be in prison had the situation been reversed.
gracehi 33
After the second time is when you so bring polite. "I don't want to have sex with you because you're a sad loathsome hideous abomination I wouldn't be caught dead with in a plague pit."
sarah5745 41
Calm down!!
supernerd95 17
#6 i agree.... gender equality
j_cat187 20
or perhaps beaten to a pulp.
stevothedevo 25
Am I the only one who thought #15's comment was funny? I agree it was a little extreme.. But I laughed pretty ****** hard it.
gracehi 33
*stop *being polite. Damn Swype. And I don't think it's extreme. It's pretty rude to repeatedly proposition someone for sex, like the answer is going to change. If the gender roles were reversed, people would be advocating that OP use physical violence. So considering that, I think my proposal is pretty mild.
Googolman 29
6 - I don't know about that. OP might be a legal adult, but still much younger that lady. Hypothetically, an 18 year old and a 75 year old could date.
trex454 21
60 his point was it was harassment and a guy would have been arrested for it
slayer447 17
15 - That escalated quickly
Mortoli 30
For one thing I don't know for certain but op might not be under 18 just either a doesn't want to sleep with her or b nervous cause with parents or c all the above lol. But seriously if he was under age his mom would have made a scene. While dad of course laughed his ass off. Just saying lol. Other way around would have ended with the jackass in hospital lol.
laureri 26
Some people lack tact and manners, go your mom for getting rid of her!
flutterby789 8
if it was my son id be doing more than being polite. shed not be bothering him again thats for sure. ...
YepThatPerson 5
Who comes u and asks that though, you made the right choice man
stevothedevo 25
Your name suits this question.
Brandi_Faith 34
Who asks that when someone is out with their family too? What kind of restaurant were you at Op?!
Zebediabolical 45
Mature women know what they want and how to get i... Oh wait. Maybe they don't know how to get it!
Journiexo 18
Well at least someone is attracted to you right? Take it as a creepy compliment haha
Sakuraashita 15
A creep-liment, if you will?
HairIsEverything 15
#34 no I will not.