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Healthy relationship goals

By leapfrog998 - 05/08/2021 20:01 - Canada - Bancroft

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 995

It's mine now

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 20:00

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 151

How? Why? When?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found on my brother's laptop thousands of pictures of my wife naked, in the shower and even a few of us having sex. That fucking creep put spy cams in our bedroom and bathroom. I’m so angry I don’t even know where to turn, hopefully the police can give me a hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 113

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 02:01

Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 120

By onemonthmyarse - 25/07/2018 15:00 - United Kingdom - Isleworth

Today, it's been 9 months since my home was damaged by a neighbour's gas explosion. The council said it would take a month to repair. I'm still living on my boyfriend's mother's sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 190

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 455

Oddly suspicious

By Brittany - 17/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 94

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 20:08

Today, when he came back to bed, I asked my flatmate who I've been sleeping since the start of lockdown, whether he had washed his hands after going to pee. He said he barely touched his dick, so he didn't need to. He likes putting his fingers in my mouth when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 715

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 20:02

Today, I had the girl of my dreams in my bed. She was laughing and smiling, kissing and talking. It was great. Then suddenly she said, "I want to go home; is that rude?" Then she left. I called, but now I'm blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 668

You deserved it 318

By singing

By Ramb0 - 21/12/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - Christchurch

Today, I was headbanging so hard to a song in the shower that I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion. I'm now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 2 196

Hello goodbye

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 08:00

Today, after four years of infertility, my wife and I found out our miracle pregnancy was going to be a boy; our first child. Twenty minutes later, we found out our child has a terminal genetic condition, and will die in the next 4 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 130

Creepy

By Mrs. Awkward - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it was perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 372

By rachgirl6 - 23/10/2018 05:00 - Australia

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 stops to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 901

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 464

Support required

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 08:01 - Canada

Today, I realized people don't value vulnerability and honesty. I've spent my life being open about it, only to learn that people use that to respect you less. I've reached a point where I give up, it sucks. Trying gets you nowhere. I don't wanna go back to a dark place, but feels like I will though. I have nobody… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 287

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 159

#ForeverAlone

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Marietta

Today, I woke up realizing that not even the scammer that I told I would pay for her friendship wanted to be my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 298

It's not unusual

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 20:02

Today, I complimented my crush. No, I didn't call her beautiful or sexy, though those definitely apply. No, instead, I called her scrumptious. I can't even begin to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 309

Lose yourself to find yourself

By Hilda - 21/02/2022 18:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm not the gold star lesbian I've always claimed to be. In fact, I went through a terrible slutty hetero period in college. My mom was disgusted, and my Dad wanted way too many details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 679

That's not how any of this works

By Not your bulter - 25/04/2023 06:00

Today, my fiancée's life ambition is to become a "couch slug" so she presented me with a brilliant plan: She wants to go on medical leave from work and apply for disability payments. She's perfectly capable, just extremely lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 228

Summon the demons

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 10:00

Today, after my son lost an eye in an accident, he has recently been fitted with a professionally made false eye. I thought I could trust him to take it seriously, but nope, turns out when getting the eye made, he secretly insisted the eye be a mixture of blood red and fire yellow to look demonic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 296

By Addigirl - 25/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 1 461

Rock n roll star

By bandfuckup - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my band was playing its first serious gig. I was in the middle of a solo when a drunk guy tackled me, causing me to crash into the drums, breaking them and my guitar, hitting our drummer, knocking him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 475

You deserved it 413

Diaspora

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 215

Caught

By Snooper - 16/03/2022 18:00

Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 2 997

Lonely boi

By 733yoda - 28/06/2019 00:30

Today, the most exciting notification I received was Amazon telling me that my bulk order of toilet paper had been shipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 273

By jojolovesyou134 - 31/03/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I decided to stand up to my bosses for making me lose money and work with heat stroke... while my co worker got to go home early I had to work 2 hours later. Turns out I got a supervisor in trouble for making me work when there was help allocated. Now I have to walk on eggshells, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 216

You deserved it 245

Gamers CAN have a love life

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 10:00

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I was having an affair in The Elder Scrolls Online. While ranting to my online elf husband, he got upset that I had a real life boyfriend and dumped me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 1 900

No sex for you

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancée is using our son to make sure we can't have sex. He's two years-old and hasn't once slept in his own bed or crib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 14:00

Today, I spent 4 hours making a cheesecake for my brother's girlfriend, which she begged me for a week to make. After my oven breaking and having to buy a new hand mixer, she tells me she's not going to eat it because this morning she decided to try being a vegan because, "it sounds interesting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 334

You deserved it 213

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The Top

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 6 697

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 137

You deserved it 6 639

Today, I saw an old high school friend I haven't seen in years and decided to sneak up to surprise him. In the last 15 years he became a soldier and a Muay Thai martial artist. My arm is numb and I think I may be peeing blood. Never sneak up behind a soldier. It really hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 3 233

Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 355

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 866

Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 76