Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was set up on a date by a coworker. The guy turned up late, but whatever. He then spent 30 breathlessly long minutes complaining about his "bitch of an ex." Then he spent another 30 minutes trying to convince me that the QAnon bullshit was real. I had to pull the whole 'fake emergency phone call' to get the hell out of there. FML
Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Nah. Unless you had absolutely NO other way to get home, you could have left. Nothing's keeping you on a date with a guy who doesn't believe in birds.
Hangryko 32
FYL, but why didn't you leave when he started with that nonsense?
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Comments (8)
Hangryko 32
FYL, but why didn't you leave when he started with that nonsense?
MidnaLink 35
Nah. Unless you had absolutely NO other way to get home, you could have left. Nothing's keeping you on a date with a guy who doesn't believe in birds.
Brightside86 31
That sounds highly entertaining. You'll be kicking yourself in 10 years when it turns out flatness is on a spectrum and/or were living in a simulation. Change is the only constant.
RichardPencil 32
In hour two, he would have explained how the female ****** doesn't exist. Be glad you left when you did.
SirEnigM0nk 22
You dodged a bullet. He may have some comically questionable claims but denial of birds?? Blasphemy!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I still like the idea that whenever you meet a conspiracy theorist you should just go bigger to make fun of them. "I believe the moon landings were faked!" "You believe in the moon?!!!"
Chiefanatic 2
I would have just got up & left. I don’t suffer fools well at all. These people suck!
GreyFox78 2
Damn, why didn't I think of that as a way to escape tragic dates, just act like a mental patient to ensure there was no follow-up