Today, I found out that when I drink alcohol, I snore so bad my boyfriend contemplated suffocating me with a pillow to get some sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
seasonedtoast 19
I block my husbands nose and when he wakes up I act all innocent and ask if he's okay then suggest rolling on his side if he's having trouble breathing. I've contemplated the pillow too.
heart_aussie 32
Right... because suffocating someone is easier than waking them up...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
seasonedtoast 19
I block my husbands nose and when he wakes up I act all innocent and ask if he's okay then suggest rolling on his side if he's having trouble breathing. I've contemplated the pillow too.
brainstorm98 13
Lol, I've done the same. It only happens when he drinks or is really tired but I make him sleep on his side and grab him an extra pillow for elevation.
Regulate 21
Nice guy.
Jenmic 16
Then you'll both get to sleep. Except with you it will be forever.
zeffra13 31
You could try those nasal expanders that look like little bandaids. They're meant for allergy-induced snoring but maybe it'll help.
awildwhisper 30
(Insert Sleep Number ad here)
awildwhisper 30
(Insert Sleep Number ad here)
EnvyMe33 26
This sounds like my hubby, that's why he sleeps on the couch when he drinks.
jessicasoho 13
So it's not just me.
heart_aussie 32
Right... because suffocating someone is easier than waking them up...