Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed, "Tell him 'Happy Birthday' from me!" and as I pressed send, I remembered her dad was dead. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I texted my best friend, “Good luck with your date tonight! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She replied, "Thanks! I’ll try not to, but to be honest, that’s not saying much." I meant it as a joke, but she had no idea what I meant. It seems that I accidentally implied I’m a bad influence. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
famlife 6
She probably doesn't care about your dumb opinions.
Inkoseh 33
Her: "My dad's a chef lol." Me: "Gosh, my dad uses every pan for Mac n cheese." (Non) Crisis averted..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
cuz803 46
Better hope she doesn't cut you up like a sausage then cut you off from her friends list. Slice 'n' dice 🔪
Ambrily 27
That was really stupid of you, OP, and also pretty sexist.
famlife 6
She probably doesn't care about your dumb opinions.
Inkoseh 33
Her: "My dad's a chef lol." Me: "Gosh, my dad uses every pan for Mac n cheese." (Non) Crisis averted..
RichardPencil 32
Let's hope Poppie isn't sloppy.
peterblackmer91 12
And?????
rainbowdonnareed 18
Most chefs are men. I wish her dad was Gordon Ramesy
Gubbon 17
And? No one was harmed.