Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML
Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Damn, looks like you triggered a few boomer snowflakes here.
Bogrbon 27
Wow, there are certainly some boomers who have really high estimations of their own attractiveness to people young enough to be their grandkids, enough to assume the 25-year old definitely isn't going to be having hook ups on the side.
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Comments (8)
Bogrbon 27
1. You’re too old for child support unless you have a really good 401k. 2. You still can get and transmit STDs, Mr. midlife crisis.
RichardPencil 32
We came of age before AIDS so condom-wearing was not a habit. Anyways, we're close enough to death that we don't really care about STDs and we're probably less fertile so the chances of unwanted pregnancy are slim. Not much benefit to counteract the downside of lack of feeling.
Bogrbon 27
Wow, there are certainly some boomers who have really high estimations of their own attractiveness to people young enough to be their grandkids, enough to assume the 25-year old definitely isn't going to be having hook ups on the side.
Justkidding100 41
they're called baby boomers for a reason ya know
tounces7 28
The reason is because they were the RESULT of a baby boom....not the creators of one.
tounces7 28
Damn, looks like you triggered a few boomer snowflakes here.
DoctorPALO 14
Since baby boomers would be anywhere from 60-80 years old, and the girl is 25, there may be a better chance for her to know more about the use of birth control methods, so unless you are, in fact, the 25-year-old gf, maybe that should be a conversation for THEM to be having.
DanielleinDC 34
I'm a Gen Xer, so I came of age in the 1980s. I remember hearing warnings about the necessity of wearing condoms to prevent STIs, meaning the Boomers should have as well. Maybe they want to relive the 1970s instead of 1980s?