Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
SighOfTheWorld 7
YDI for disrespecting her in public. Not cool.
AmNot 0
I doubt she hit him that hard, so I don't feel that bad for this guys...after all, she wouldnt want to damage the goods.
underpaid011 0
your gf sounds awesome
penguinazul 13
This really was an unnecessary reaction from the GF. I mean, all he did was touch her boob. It doesn't say that he started blatantly massaging her **** in the middle of the street or something. It's just a bit of playful fun, no harm done! I hate it when girls are bitches to their boyfriends for no reason. Just because you have a **** does NOT give you the right to be one.
JuggerzTheCat 0
I like you. :p
kitkatkool14 8
WTF? how old r u, 8???
bassdredd 2
so, your boyfriend- wait, let me make this clearer- BOYFRIEND- touches your boob, and that gives you an excuse to slap his dick really hard? what the fu.ck is that chicks problem? lmfao have fun cleaning the bathroom when your bc starts pissing blood. what a b!tch
1personinthiswor 0
It doesn't say "really hard" in the FML, does it? Not to mention, he grabbed her boob in a public place. Gf or not, show some respect!
JuggerzTheCat 0
No where in the FML does it say he grabbed her boob. Does it? It says simply he touched it, meaning he would have simply nudged it.
flippityfloop 0
Failure, omg. Why would you do that?
RedPillSucks 33
Everyone is acting like OPs girlfriend hurt him. The FML doesn't say that. It says he got slapped in the crotch. There's nothing about him writhing in pain. For all we know it hurt about as much as him touching her breast. There's no information about how hard the slap was, so we can't make a judgement about it. About the only thing we know was that he was inappropriate with her in public.
36jg63 0
lol..:D I love yhur gf...!!!:p
Zacham 5
how is that a dick move. is it weird for a guy to like his gf's boobs? I don't get it :|
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
he touched them in public. liking them is natural, touching them is done in private