Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
ThisRandomChild 0
Bwahahagahahahahahahajahahahagahahahaha!
KristinaMarie17 0
hahaha, this has happened to me. & the exact thing happened!
agsilver 14
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
brieslew 0
how hard of a slap? I wouldn't mind too much.
Bladian 5
I don't understand you guys. "He's such a giant dick!" For the love of god he was joking around. Who gives a shit if it's in public, he touched her boob. Oh god the horror. I do that to my girlfriend all the time, and guess what? She laughs, because she knows I'm joking around.
ahodes 0
........... and?? treat others how you'd like to be treated!!
savvyrae00 0
I do that to my boyfriend all the time lol
ImTheAlpha 30
If my boyfriend did that, I'd laugh. O.o FYL for having a girlfriend with no sense of humor.
zaac15 2
Your really immature bro..
klx125cross 9
L.O.L