Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
taylorr14 0
you walked in to that one lol
Musician37 0
It coulda been worse..
DaleksAreEpic 0
*slaps OP's head* Empty.
shay224ah 5
YDI ...your gf is funny
Draminicaus 0
That is actually really hilarious. More girls should do stuff like that. I'm a big, broad kinda guy. I like knowing my significant other can cut me down to size. Is that weird? lol
JuggerzTheCat 0
*makes whip noise* :p
Draminicaus 0
hahaha....No no no. No whips and chains. Just wit. Lots of wit. lol
batman8 0
u my friend, have a hilarious girl by your side
KupkakeKitten 8
she should have kicked, not slapped
MeyMeyChan 6
Lolz. I like this FML :D *Likes* Whenever I poke stuff.. I always say "Poooooooooke" In a silly voice.. So I don't see anything wrong with that.. Also! *Pokes everybody who's commented so far* Needed 100 Pokes for the poke war going on. :D Started yesterday.. Ends on Wednesday.. Poke 100 People and win :D!
RedPillSucks 33
Poke you!, MeyMey
nerdsgetmehot 23
If you act like a 5 year old, expect her to act like a 5 year old back. Don't be too stunned when it happens.