Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
jmcr 27
Haha good gf that's great yo so had that coming
ellezmarie 3
Omg that proper sad OP, my boyfriend does that to me every time he does it I slap him harder and harder you should grow up a little!
slenderman1234 2
Like a boss
Fang713 28
My boyfriend does that to me. ;-;
vaughnh1998 4
I hated when my ex did that. Especially in public
reggie_k_dwight 16
I don't even realize why this is an FML. My girlfriend and I do stuff like this all the time…
mourines 0
As long as it's not at a stupid time I don't see what the big deal is. My boyfriend does that, it's not a big deal. Your chick needs to lighten the **** up
nevergonnaGivUup 8
He touched her boobs he didn't slap them. Our dicks are way more sensitive. If she didn't slap it I'm sure he'd be fine with it but clearly women love to exaggerate.
rorex 26
How is it funny to touch her boob and say boob? Like congratulations you know what a boob is.
AstralLuna 15
I like her. She single?