Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Knight
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Unwarranted
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Top comments
sarbear293 4
So.. Is it true?
chasingmountains 0
Good things come in small packages
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Comments (183)
hiitisbrooke 28
That must SUCK. *trollin*
JustinComments 3
The only thing that made sense in your comment was calling yourself a troll.
Sydney92 3
hey don't hate. I mean ya gotta love his picture
aceman1992 9
Are you crazy?
n_epic_fail 14
I hope you knocked him out OP. Violence isn't the answer but it sure will make u feel better... And the loser shut up.
hiitisbrooke 28
Okay, yes, I meant to say she must suck instead of that must suck. As to say his girlfriend sucks. Hope you're smart enough to get the extra cheesy pun.
Oasispetro1 4
Too bad todays Saturday?
justmethough 8
When she replied she obviously was agreeing that the annoying kid himself had a tiny penis. It's okay op.
Bobissmall 13
OP just needs to get a friend of his that she doesn't know to walk by and yell "Fat cow!" so that OP can then say "Yep." Because calling a guys dick small is the equivalent of calling a girl fat, imo.
puppypuncher 5
138- Too bad that'd backfire. Girls are encouraged to make fun of a man's dick. However, if a guy calls a girl fat as a comeback, everyone will believe he's the worst creature on this earth and deserves to have a broom shoved up his ass sideways. **** logic.
grace31297 14
To bad its Monday in Australia and other countries. Idiot
shanemcunt 10
83 ya Dumb ass they have to be approved first.
sarbear293 4
So.. Is it true?
BostonBruinsFan 8
I think it is...she had prob lost her virginity to OP
fancyclown 9
His small penis is incapable of taking virginity. Sorry, OP.
n_epic_fail 14
It doesn't matter how big it is but how well he can put it to work.
moop256 10
Maybe the girlfriend has a gaping never ending black hole of a ****** and his dick just looks small near it
fancyclown 9
But then he would have fallen in and ended up in some alternate dimension ages ago.
moop256 10
You forget there are two possible theories to that one the penis will disappear forever or the person disappear. But since no one has ever survived either we don't know were they go
ohmylanta22 5
Where*
CandidB 4
How would the annoying kid know about Op's penis....
xbrit551 13
Aww...try Viagra?
Wederoney 16
Yes... because viagra makes you penis bigger.
Ferretface 13
3- OP doesn't have erectile dysfunction, just a small dick. Viagra won't do anything except give him a long lasting erection.
xbrit551 13
Ohh my bad, I thought it makes them bigger:o
flockz 20
if there was a drug that made penises bigger then our economy would have zero unemployment, because so many new corporations would sprout up and create hundreds of thousands of jobs, all of them specializing in the creation of cases or pans to safely store your penis so it doesn't drag on the ground. and viagra's founder would be president.
desireev 18
Viagra is for erectile dysfunction. Not a small penis.. You've obviously seen the commercials. The question is do you pay attention to what they're saying?
rarrar321 3
Ooh, so that's why that stuff doesn't work.....
docscientist 10
If viagra made you dick bigger, I'm sure 70% of the population would be on it.
Ebola_fml 20
136 - So women would be taking it too? Men only account for about 50% of the population.
docscientist 10
And here I thought it was a given it meant a percentage of the male population. Smh...
gionatorinc 5
arent they anyway?haha
Calen5556 0
At least she's honest.
JustinComments 3
If that was my secret I wouldn't want her to be honest
EatnBeef 7
To all you ladies, making fun of a mans junk is the worst thing you can do to him. It will destroy every fragment of his self esteem.
aruam365 24
Even if your penis is small (Not saying she should have agreed with him aloud.) She's still with you so clearly it's not a big deal to her so although it's something men are sensitive about just shrug it off because you're the one with the girl.
Katastrophe101 8
So let me get this straight 92. Because you chose to be vegan, the rest of us that eat meat and what not are assholes?
sparkrok 8
I get this nagging feeling that 92 was... oh, shit, what's the word... JOKING about the asshole thing...
ArcadePie 10
Hey 92 i'm about to eat a big juicy steak from a cow i savagely butchered with my bare hands
KingOfAmazing 9
92- Please explain to me how we (meat-eating beings) are assholes. I wouldn't call you an asshole if your profile pic was a plate of vegetables. The person with the pic of steak may be proud that he/she is a meat eater. Just as I'm sure you're proud that you're a vegan. I have no problem with people being vegan, but I don't understand why you all freak out when people mention eating meat. Meat eaters don't freak out when people talk about being vegan, so I don't understand what the big deal is.
chasingmountains 0
Good things come in small packages
nonamericandolla 6
Agree! As a girl size doesn't matter to me in a guy
Pentium_4 27
as long as he knows how to use it! then the girl won't care
Torva_fml 16
Girls are going to say size doesn't matter.... But they sure as hell would appreciate a bigger one.
zombicidal 11
yes just like how as a pathological liar the truth is important to me
cheaptrix 6
It's the little things that count
GoW_Chick 15
OP should tell them, it's not tiny, it's fun size!
krazieslife 7
Haha depends on how small :p
Honda288 2
That scenario is one of the few exceptions to the whole small package line.
perdix 31
Small packages come in tight boxes.
Msagrera 5
But better things come in bigger packages
amrik 11
Sad but true
nslurve 4
My dick is 3 inches..... From the ground!
Spyingcheeseman 8
she could just be saying that to get rid of the kid. anytime someone tries to insult me I just shout "Yep!" or "you bet!" or "you know it"... stuff like that.
nickdunbar 8
The truth hurts
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Actually, she can barely feel the truth ;)
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
The truth may hurt but this one wont
randomkayx3 11
What a downer x).
fattylumptard 1
She was probably talking about herself.
GayLordSteamBath 0
Que?
fattylumptard 1
That she has a tiny penis
theevilduchess 12
Yeah, but no one ever got to Europe in a dingy.
PRpandaz 6
Now how would that make sense?
ilikeapplejuice 7
its not the size of your boat, just the motion in the ocean;)
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
Jefree Star ;)
docscientist 10
Who the hell is that? That phrase was around much earlier than whoever you speak of.
Link5794 18
It's not the length of the penis, it's the length of the sex.