Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
HesJustTheBest 0
You should have slapped her right across the face and yelled FACE! That would have put her in her place.
WhatTheFuq 0
true that
wicked420klown 0
thats when u grab her vag and call her a cun*t
pwnedl0l 5
it doesn't help when you put the asterisk in the middle of the word >.>
bugmenotmofo 34
Slapsdick comedy lol. Btw WTF, commenters? OP's her bf, I'm sure a little boob-touching isn't off limits in this relationship if she casually slaps his dick anyway. Hopefully the gf wasn't really offended, but merely hit you a bit harder than intended.
sundayporch 2
I agree. I think it's hilarious how seriously some people are taking this.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Believe it or not, not all girls like to be groped in public.
macskapingvin 0
LIES. SLANDER AND LIES.
HomeAl0ne 20
Given the controversy and lack of citations, I decided to conduct a double-blinded randomised experiment. Analysis suggests that TheIrishJaneDoe is in fact correct and not all girls like being groped in public.
macskapingvin 0
Indeed. In fact, most of them.
jess0091 0
So.....how is this a FML? at least she touched your dick.
sucks4u918 4
hahahah ;))
staciieee_x3 0
YDI for sure.
Drspoofty 0
Well you got your ass pwnd
MissyRawrs 0
hahahhaha
emoverlord 0
*slap her across the face* "bitch." lmao
Draminicaus 0
No...I'm thinking not. lol