Today, I’ve been writing a novel, so I had my brother read it. He pointed out that the heroine's lover, who she hates most of the time but has hot nasty sex with, pretty much describes our dad. I based the heroine on me, so now I want to be sick every time I read the sex scenes I wrote. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML
Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML
Today, my wife refuses to sleep with me anymore because it turns out I’m the spitting image of her dad when he abandoned the family when she was a 10. Even I think the resemblance is spooky but now she can’t even think of sex with me without feeling physically sick. FML
Today, I have come to accept that my girlfriend has such obvious daddy issues that I can only turn her on by dressing/acting/sounding like him, but not too obviously because if she realises that’s what I’m doing, she screams, “I do not want to have sex with my dad!” then starts crying. FML
Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Electra Complex much? Let's hope your dad doesn't read this!
mattiagardin 15
As of the premise didn't already sound awful lol
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Sigmund Freud's ghost is asking why you want to **** your dad.
mattiagardin 15
As of the premise didn't already sound awful lol
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Sounds like you have a future in **** scriptwriting.
poopface82 25
If I were you, I’d take the parts of the story I like best, start over and run with them.
RichardPencil 32
Electra Complex much? Let's hope your dad doesn't read this!